Bottle Feeding Update

 

Look at  our boy drinking from the bottle. He was doing it right in front of me even! He's getting the hang of it finally. Lately he hasn't been drinking much in the earlier parts of the day (even from the boob) and we're trying to change that so that he eats more during the day and less at night in hopes of more night time sleep.

One of the things I bought that has really helped Mike in warming the milk quickly and efficiently is a bottle warmer. It heats the milk evenly in under 4 minutes.

Swaddling

I remember our first night home with Aki Bear; Mike and I were a wreck. I was exhausted from a week long labor and 48 hrs in the hospital. Mike was recovering from an earache and also exhausted from supporting me all week. Neither of us new anything about babies and I think Mike would agree that he knew even less about babies than me. He had never changed a diaper before. That first night home the little one cried and cried. We checked his diaper: dry. I tried to nurse him: nope. We "swaddled" him like they did in the NICU (loose swaddle): he wouldn't calm down and sleep.  Repeat. I even said something like, "I think we made a mistake!" I was so overwhelmed. Through what seemed like complete chaos Mike grabs the Happiest Baby on the Block book and finds the how-to section on swaddling. This is amazing to me because I don't think I could even concentrate enough and read a sentence at that point. He sets the blanket up and follows the steps, one by one. He reads that, "you can't make a swaddle too tight." He even reads that one father adheres it with a little duct tape at which I am in disbelief that something like that is written in this book. I love duct tape but, come on, it's your baby! Anyways, Mike swaddles Aki Bear in a tight, neat swaddle and then SILENCE. He's quiet and asleep. It was like a magic trick. Four months later and the Bear still likes a swaddle although I tried the one arm swaddle all last night with success! I even alternated which arm was out. Anyhoo. We had a babysitter for a couple of hours watch the Bear on Friday and she came over the day before so that I could meet her (she's a former student of Mike's). She's really nice and was great with Aki Bear. One of the things we showed her was how to swaddle and here is Mike's demo (watch 'til the end and be shocked just like I was the first time I saw pieces of duct tape on the changing table.)

I refuse to use the duct tape, even if it doesn't seem to harm the baby. It just isn't my style. Mike on the other hand continues to deploy the duct. Another example in different parenting styles and learning to accept those differences.

Worst Thing in the World, No. 2

I wrote about the number one worst thing in the world back in July. Now it's time for the second worst thing in the world (which is related to number one.) A sick baby. Especially a crying, sick baby, while I am at work and Papa Bear is in a meeting and the Bear is at home with a babysitter for the first time! GAH!

At 2:00pm Friday afternoon Mike called me for the second time at work and said that Aki Bear wasn't eating, was extremely fussy and wasn't sleeping so well. He didn't have a very good night either. He's got a head cold which we all have gotten...his seems to be moving more slowly than ours did. (This is also another Breast Fed Baby Lie! I was told that he couldn't get sick if I breast fed him.) It's horrible that I can't know what his exact symptoms are. It's heartwrenching that I can't do much about it. Poor guy is suffering. He has been congested for over a week now...some days are better than others. We are giving him a saline rinse, which helps loosen up the mucous, and sucking out any snot with the bulb-thingy:

Sometimes he doesn't seem to mind having that used on him and other times he seems to absolutely despise it. He doesn't seem to mind the saline rinse so much. Once I squirt it up there he get's a little funny expression on his face but he doesn't cry or squirm too much; I think he actually likes the salty flavor. I hate thinking that he is suffering and that his throat might be sore or that his head really hurts or that he's so miserable that he won't eat. Apparently Anna, the babysitter, walked him outside the majority of the time she was there. He wouldn't take the bottle for her either. When Mike got back from his meeting he was finally able to give the boy the bottle, and he drank the entire thing! I wish I could be at two places at one time...or just have a choice and be at home with him rather than at work. Thankfully he has a good fat layer that can hold him over for a few weeks if he decides not to eat for awhile. Just kidding. Bleh.

She's Baaaaaaack!

Look at that toe grip!

Yep, that's right, Auntie C is in the house. She is back from a trial move to New Jersey. She was offered a job back here in Chappy so she took it. She stayed with us all of last week and part of this week until she found a place to live. Aki Bearito is smitten with her. He will either just stare at her or if I am holding him and she talks to him he will bury his face in my chest (who wouldn't?!) and act all coy. It's adorable. It's actually been nice having her with us because sometimes an extra set of hands is what we need!

Exploring Textures, Patterns and Colors

Uncle Sean gave Aki Bear this toy:

It's called a Whoozit Whatzat by Manhattan Toy (they are also the makers of the wooden toy that he loves to kick and grab with his feet.) I call him Bob...doesn't he look like a Bob? We can hang him on the crib or from the handle of the car seat but we've been just plopping him in Aki Bear's lap because he loves to grab things and shove things in his mouth. (We've actually not used the little arch that goes over his bouncy chair because they do not extend to his mouth and he gets pissed off (as pissed off as a 4 month old can get.) He wants everything he can touch or grab to go into his mouth.

As we were driving the other day (well, I was driving, he was sitting in the car seat with Bob) it was getting close to his nap time and usually when he's tired in the car he'll cry loudly for 5 minutes max and then fall asleep. This time I noticed that he was intently studying Bob, looking at the patterns on the rings, putting the little heart and hand shapes in his mouth, touching the little mouth and plush nose. He then made a couple of tired squawks and the next thing I know, he's out like a light, hand firmly wrapped around Bob:

Thank you, Bob and thank you, Uncle!

A Baby of Many Hats

O.K., so one's a hood...and two of them are the same hat but they're all pretty darn cute and each picture showing off a different part of his personality!

Advice to a New Papa-To-Be

Here are some words of advice I wish Mike had gotten upon being a new Papa. He and I learned it the hard way by making mistakes and learning in the moment but it has all been worth the ride!

• When she is nursing the baby, quietly ask her if she'd like anything to drink or if she needs anything in general. Often times, in the beginning, I felt trapped under a nursing baby and wasn't so good at getting up and walking around while holding/nursing him (still not). I would get annoyed with Mike for not asking me if I needed anything and I couldn't shout for something because I would startle the baby.
• When the baby is sleeping or being put down for a nap be conscientious of your voice and sounds. Mike has a deep, booming voice and walks with a heavy foot. The load noises he would make would drive me bonkers. Almost 4 months in this doesn't drive me as crazy anymore probably because one, I told him to shut it a million times so he's more conscious of his sounds. Secondly you get to know your baby's sleep cycle and realize that nothing can wake him at a certain point. It's the beginning of the nap and the end of the nap where he's the most wake-up-able. 
• Offer her back massages or foot massages (or just get her a gift certificate for one.)
• Do anything to make it easier on her around the house: do dishes; laundry; cook dinner, lunch, breakfast - especially in the beginning. Eventually you both will learn to do all these things while taking care of the baby at the same time. It's just that in the beginning the mommy will be doing most of the caretaking (feeding) and then will be exhausted and want to sleep while he's sleeping.
• Your time for bonding with the baby will come and it will be amazing. I don't think this truly started until Mike started watching Aki Bear 2.5 days per week while I went back to work part time at the beginning of October. This made it about three months before the real bonding began for them. It's amazing to watch the little one smile and react and recognize his Papa - it's an entirely different dynamic between the two of them compared to me and the bear. It's lovely to witness. 
• You don't have to do everything the way that your wife or partner has been doing it. You will parent differently than her. The baby will perhaps have to get used to the differences but in the end will accept the differences in how he is put down for a nap or fed or played with, etc. Babies are amazingly quick learners and are so trusting of everyone and everything. Be yourself...find yourself in your new role - it will be wholly right (just as long as you aren't being mean and abusive!!! duh.)

That's all I can think of at the moment. Tell me if you have any other gems of wisdom for the new Papas of the world and I'll add 'em to the list!

Day Care Nerves

We found an in-home day care for Aki Burrito. He will begin in December, three days a week and I'm already a mess! One thing that comforts me is that our friend Suganya will have her daughter Kavi in the same day care for she is the one that found it and told us about it (Thank you!! Load off our backs!)

Here are Kavi and Stan (when he couldn't hold up his floppy head), soon to be BFFs! Gosh, looking at this picture makes me want to have a little girl! (Just kidding Mike! hahaha!)....(but really, it does.)

It is in Chapel Hill. The woman watches up to 4 children at a time max and she's super flexible and we're only paying $600 a month (Hallelujah!) If we change to full time it would be $850 a month. Mike, Stanley and I went to visit/interview her and she seems like a really nice woman. She's been doing this for 20 years. She had a long list of references to boot...which is comforting. A background check was done too; she's clean as a whistle. (I hope she's not reading this because I sound like I'm majorly paranoid.) It's true, I'm paranoid. When we left I saw a man in her driveway (her husband) and I thought to myself, "Who is that strange man?! Why is he here in the driveway?" I guess it's better to be paranoid than ignorantly, carefree and absent.

No matter how lovely the caretaker may be it just breaks my heart that he'll be spending many of his days with her and not with me, his Mama! I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually. I'm gonna go buy a lottery ticket after work so I can stay home with my boy. (Plus if we won the lottery Mike would O.K. the "having the little girl" daydream and turn it into a reality...just kidding.  Sort of.)

Vintage White

I organized the bags of pumped breast milk in the freezer the other day. I organized it from newest (in the back) to oldest (in the front so we use it first!) We have a lot. It takes up most of our freezer room. We call it vintage white. Aki Bear is a connoisseur of breast milk. He likes the vintage white from late July best (I actually don't know this, he's a mystery to me still.) Here it all is on our kitchen table:

What I Didn't Know

I read this great little article at Baby Center the other day. You should read it, especially if you're expecting or thinking of having a wee one. I wish I would have read something like this before the baby came...or maybe I did and it's just one of those things where you can read about it or be told about it by tons of people but you really just don't get it unless you're in it.

Newborns Are Funny Looking
Ha! Kinda true. Look at how funny the Bear looks an hour after he popped on the scene, all swollen, wet and sleepy (and Mom is outta her mind and hasn't seen nothin' yet.)

He got cuter really fast though. (Look how big his hand is!!)

Baby's Can Be Explosive
"Newborns may look delicate, but when it comes to spit-up and poop, they can pack a serious punch."
Don't worry, I won't show any dirty diaper pics or spit up images. I will share with you the fact that in the beginning he dirtied/wet over 24 diapers a day in the beginning. That number has dwindled, but it's still a lot. (A lot more than you and me would dirty.)

Baby's Are Unexpectedly Time Consuming
Yep. True. I was told that they would eat up my time but it didn't quite reach the part of my brain that needed to hear it...or I thought I understood what that meant but actually I didn't until we met him. Being tired doesn't help. Going grocery shopping takes more time (gotta remember the diaper bag and anything else baby related.) Gotta time it so that he's awake (preferably) and in a good mood (just eaten.) And when the baby sleeps you think you can get things done...you can, eventually, but you also want to sleep or just be a couch potato for an hour while he's down. But you somehow adjust and I usually only take one nap a day now (except for the days that I work 8 hours!) I am able to wash dishes or diapers or straighten an area of the house while he's down...or even while he's awake! Yay for me!

Bonding Follows Its Own Timetable 
Every parent will have a different story on how quickly (or slowly) they felt connected to their little
one. I took about 3 weeks. I thought I'd be in love instantly but that didn't happen. When it did happen it was quite lovely. Here he is at that 3 week stage:

It's funny to see this diaper on him, it looks HUGE. He fills them in better these days.

You'll Be A Different Parent Than You Expected
So true. I read all of these parenting blogs before he was born and knew what philosophies I liked or didn't like. I thought I would be a certain way. Although I think I still carry some of those philosophies in my head a lot of how you parent, especially in the beginning when everything is brand new,  is very instinctual and you have to react quickly. Whether or not you think of all of the ways to positively and properly speak to your child it all might totally fly out the door and BOOM! you say something you swore you'd never say to him. Practice makes perfect I say. (Or close to perfect...or practice makes imperfect.) I'd also like to add that you and your partner are different people and will therefore parent differently and that's fine. It took me awhile to let go and not be so bossy with Mike. Variety is a good thing for the Bear.

Hiking Buddies

So, about once a week, weather permitting, I go on a little hike with two of the gals from my Birthing Class, Lauren and Roxanne, and their two adorable little boys, Zachary and Tavner. Here is a pic of all six of us:

Me and the Bear, Lauren and Zak, Roxanne and Tav

Here is a close up of the Bear with his buddy Zak:

 

That was a cold day, as you can see them all bundled up. It's amazing how different they all are. Zak is very smiley, Tavner is more serious but I've got him to crack many smiles - he's a good sleeper on our walks. Stan is the most serious of the bunch, I'd say, or maybe the most pensive. We'll see how they grow! It's fun to get together with these ladies. If the weather is bad we usually get a cup of coffee or tea at the local café.

Learning Every Day

It's amazing to watch Aki Bear grow. It seems he learns something or acquires a new skill everyday. I remember seeing him really and truly smile for the first time...I think it was August 6 - his one month birthday. It is different from those smiles that came before that. Those pre-smiles seemed accidental somehow. When he smiled for the first time my heart did a little dance, that's how I knew it wasn't "accidental" but instead the real deal.

The next big one was his "talking." He says stuff like "agoo" and "hi" (but not really hi as in hello) and "gah". It's quite adorable. He also does this squealing thing. We have long conversations. This morning at 5 A.M. we had a very long conversation. Somehow you can't be grouchy for very long when he doesn't want to go back to sleep early in the morning and starts talking away, exercising his sing-songy, growing vocal chords...you can't stay mad, you smile and converse back to this little, innocent, sweet boy and you forget how tired you are.

Sucking on his hand and drooling came next. This is funny to me because although he was sucking on his hand I don't think he realized that it was attached to him or that he was aware of it. I think it was more of an instinctual thing that he just reflexively shoved it in his mouth because he needed to suck on something. A good example of this is when we lie down to nurse sometimes he will find his hand before my breast and start sucking on his hand as if milk will start to stream out of his fist. It cracks me up every time. Watching him learn to unclench his pudgy fist has been fun to watch too. Instead of awkwardly shoving that in his mouth he's learned to have a finger or two or three or four instead. This slowly grew into him sucking on his thumb but always with an index or middle finger thrown in. Every now and then he'll find his thumb but it's not quite a good latch.

Then he found his foot. He sees it best when he sits in my lap. He just stares and throws his hand in that direction. He doesn't quite have the back strength to hold himself up or the coordination of getting his hand to his foot in a graceful manner. It actually really reminds me of when my Grandaddy, who had Alzheimer's, was sitting on the edge of his bed staring at his feet with such concentration. When asked what he was doing he said, thwarted, "I'm trying to get my right foot to move in front of my left foot!" My Grandaddy's unlearning intersecting with Aki Bear's learning.

He's sitting on my lap here leaning over concentrating on his feet. Really.

 Then came the realization of his hand. This is adorable too. He holds his hand in a fist in front of his face and stares at it. He has a hand! I wonder what is going through his head? He will grasp a toy with his tiny fingers and just stare at his fingers firmly gripped around the object. He will grab at things if you hold them in front of his face. He progressed more quickly with using his left hand, we are thinking perhaps he's gonna be a lefty? Who knows. He is now equally exploring with his right hand.

His focus is becoming more complex too. Before, when we'd go for walks outside, he'd look around but never really would look at me (this is when he's sitting in his stroller.) It was as if he was completely focused on the sky and the trees and the openness of the outdoors. I would try and talk to him but it was as if I was invisible. Just the other day he was able to see me and smile while on our walk. I look forward to the next spurt in his growth chart!

Updates While at Work

Mike calls me with updates while I'm at work. I love them and I hate them. I love hearing that Aki Bear drank from the bottle; my heart swells with pride and hope. I hate hearing that he didn't take the bottle or that he got his fingers squished, or something. I understand that he needs to vent and touch base with an adult during his day of daddy day care but man I'm always a bundle of nerves when I see that it's him calling me. What's the news gonna be this time? Oy.

The second week at work was definitely better than the first. I think bottle drinking progress made a very slight increase, but mentally I think the Bear is much better.  Look how I stay busy at work:

I made that useless chart with Microsoft Word. I just thought a visual on our progress would be nice.

-------

Baby and Daddy were alive and well when I got home after work on Friday. Aki Bear drank 4 oz. in the morning! Woooohoo! Perhaps that bar of progress should go up a point or two.

Learning Names

Aki Bear enjoys going through the list of family members.

Maternity Leave

How's that for an eye opener! Here we think our country is a leader in so many things but it's not when it comes to maternity leave. Let's move to Canada! American women get 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave under the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA). This fantastic infographic and a short article to go along with it was found at Think Progress.

I received that very FMLA maternity leave package. I could get paid only one months worth (that's how much sick and vacation time I had available.) Thankfully my very generous co-workers donated to me more than 2 months worth of time. AMAZING. (I just learned that I was given the max amount of 225 hours! Wowwee!)When I found out, my heart swelled with love and gratitude towards my work family. Unfortunately, who donates time is confidential so the best I could do was to send out a mass thank you email. (My favorite garbage man, Harold, donated two entire weeks! A little bird told me that.) I couldn't imagine going back to work after one month...or even two months. I just barely started liking the baby after one month! We barely got into a routine after the second month. After the third month was up we were attached by the hip and had gotten to know eachother fairly well and found our groove but I had to go back to work or my job might not've been waiting for me. Plus, we need my income and I have fantastic insurance.

I remember seeing that infographic and being really annoyed. Why can't the Land of the Free have better maternity leave options? I know that not every mother wants to stay home with their baby...some want to go back to work and others, like me, have to go back to work. I sent this lot of questions out on facebook to see if I would get a good conversation going. I didn't really get a good conversation I only received 6 responses, but it's still interesting to hear what other mamas have to say; plus I learned some things (taxes!):

1) What was the length and pay of your maternity leave? 
a. I was home for 16 weeks (c-section/FMLA)) and got about 55% of my take home pay (pre-tax)
b. I took three weeks vacation, all of the maternity leave and all of the Paid Family Leave. I got paid about $2k per month for the maternity leave/pfla.
c. I took 3 months with my daughter and 2 months with my son. I had leave advanced to me with both kids as well as using annual and sick leave that I had on the books. 
d. I got 8wks off with full pay (no need for state disability)
e. In Japan, if you work in a public institution, new mothers get a year with full pay. Not sure what private companies give, but probably less than that. (a non-mother sent this to me.)
f. Shanghai American School gives 10 weeks paid to mum (plus another 4 without pay I think) and 3 weeks paid to dad... for adoption, we got 6 paid for mum and 3 paid for dad.


2) Why did you take all 3 months (FMLA) or, why did you not? 
a. I took all the time I was allowed without taking unpaid leave.
b. n/a 
c. n/a 
d. I did not do FMLA but my husband did. He took FMLA when I went back to work that way the boys would not have to go to daycare until they were 5mths old.
e. I'd take the max of whatever they give you.
f. n/a


3) Why did you go back to work, or why did you not? 
a. We have a mortgage and would not be able to make payment without dual income. But, I just recently reduced my schedule to 4days/week so I could spend more time with my son.
b. The reason I was working was because I was the one that had health insurance coverage through my job. Once my husband's job offered it I quit my job and stayed home. It's hard, but I feel as if its the best for us and for my sanity. I always felt like I was playing "catch up" on laundry, dishes, housecleaning, etc when I worked. Also, tax wise and $ wise, we are better off with only one income. We were bumped up to the next tax bracket when I was working and we were paying as much in taxes, gas, child care as we are making now. So, it didn't make sense for me to work. 
c. Had to go back to work for financial reasons and my sanity.
d. I went back to work because I have to work for $$ but I also really missed it.
e. n/a
f. n/a


4) What do you think a fair Maternity Leave package would be? 
a. I would love to see paid Maternity Leave increased to a minimum of 6mo. I felt like we were just getting into our grove when I had to go back to work.
b. It would be great if employers kicked in some $ for maternity leave. Even if it was just for the initial 2 months. That would be awesome. It's hard when the govn't has to take the heat for compensating everyone. I think some companies will give a few weeks paid but now that you have a baby your know as well as I do that a "few weeks" is nothing in comparison to what a few months could do.
c. n/a
d. I think what I got is very fair considering I didn't have to do any paperwork with the State. All I needed to do was give a "doctor's note" and provided my date of return to work. I work for a company that is Malaysia based thus the slight difference from US companies.  
e. n/a 
f. n/a 

I think it would be wonderful to get 1 year off. I think I'd be happy with 6 paid and 1 year off without fear of losing your job. I also think that daycare costs are insane especially for children under 24 months old. If we were able to have the option to stay home with our baby for a year that would really help some people financially. Friend "b" mentions that it's hard when the government has to take the heat for compensating everyone but I read this article about how paid maternity leave is actually good for the economy. Here's a snippet:

So, paid leave when a baby comes is good for the mother and the child.  It keeps the family financially stable, grows the economy and decreases health care costs.  It means better health for all concerned, and lowers the risk that public assistance will be needed for food, rent or utilities.  It’s no wonder every other modern nation, and others far less robust than the U.S., have found a way to turn such a practical and cost-effective public policy into reality.  The only mystery that remains is why we don’t. 

Anyhoo. Got to go back to work. Boohoo.

Finger Toes

If you know me well, you know I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb on the piano...with my toes. I can pick things up from the floor with my feet without having to bend over. I can grab a beer from the coffee table if need be without getting out of my deep recline on the couch. I can pinch you with my toes, and it'll hurt.

I think Aki Bear is gonna have big feet like his Papa and finger toes like his Mama:

The Journey of Bottle Feeding

This was one of our very first bottle feeding attempts that was semi-successful.

I should really have Mike write this post. He's the one doing it, afterall. Let's just say, that if we win the lottery I will be staying home...heck, we both will be staying home...and I will be feeding the baby with my breast and Mike will use all the baby bottles we have to drink whiskey with...because bottle feeding has been a struggle, to say the least. We are not alone in this either. Apparently other people's children have struggled to accept the bottle as well. The two ladies in my birthing class - their boys seemed to take the bottle with much more ease - perhaps they introduced it earlier? Maybe they accept change more easily? Maybe Aki Bear just really likes hanging out with me and snuggling? I don't know what it is. All I know is that it is taking time for us all to adjust.We first introduced the bottle to him at 6 weeks - that is what was recommended. We weren't very consistent about it. We would skip 5 days completely. Now that I'm back at work part time he has been fully immersed in the baby bottle way...and he's not taken to it well. I've purchased two different bottles. The first ones are Tommy Tippees with a number 1 nipple which basically means it has the smallest hole possible...so the baby needs to really suck to get the milk. Then I bought some Avent glass bottles with a number 2 nipple which has a bigger hole therefore the milk comes out more easily. Then I bought a bottle warmer which warms the milk evenly and consistently. He has successfully eaten from the Avent bottles so we primarily use that one. It takes about 4 minutes to heat 4 oz. of milk in the bottle warmer.

On my first half day at work I called the lactation consultant (who works at he Birth Center) when I got home. I thought that if I could get as many helpful hints for Mike as possible the better off the boys would be when I was at work. One of the main questions that Mike had for her was, "When does it become dangerous for the baby; if he only takes 2 oz. of milk can't he become dangerously dehydrated?" She answered that question and more. Here are the questions we asked:

How much should he get at each feeding?
Since he is about 16 pounds he should get 35 oz. per day. He feeds about 8 times a day which means he should get about 4 oz. at each feeding. (Dr. Sears has a formula for how much a baby should be getting at each feeding or per day here.)

Any tricks to get baby to take bottle? Or is it practice makes perfect?
Practice makes perfect. Although you can try different sized nipples and make sure that the nipple reaches his soft palette. As he is feeding you want to gently tug at the bottle so that he continues to suck. You can also make the hole in the nipple bigger by poking a needle through it.

I read about offering breast milk through a cup? Would it be a sippy cup? When should we try this?
Yes, it would be a sippy cup but I would try your hardest to get him to take the bottle before you move onto the spoon, syringe or cup. Give it some time.

Is there an ideal position to feed him in? Is mimicking a nursing position good?
You should sit him up at an angle. You can hold him up with one arm, your hand supporting his neck and head or you can rest him on your bent knee and hold the bottle in your other hand. Try to hold the bottle parallel to the floor.

This isn't Mike or Aki Bear (duh). I just thought it was a good image of a father and son bottle feeding in a good position; not completely down on his back but up and at an angle with the bottle semi parallel to the floor. It's from Parents dot com.

She also told us to check out the website kellymom.com where there are all sorts of breast feeding and bottle feeding tips. When I got home from work on Friday I saw these two windows open on the computer that Mike had looked up and read:
Bottle feeding and bonding
How much milk do babies need?

Our goal is for him to like bottle feeding. He doesn't have to love it but we'd love for him to adjust to it and understand that this is just an alternate way to receive food!

Documentation and Growth

Our computer died almost a month ago and with it went lots of pictures. Sad face. Luckily our little point and shoot camera had the pics of Aki Bear when he was still in the hospital and maybe just a handful of pictures in between then and now. Thank goodness I've been uploading pics to Shutterfly once a week. But still, it's nice to have the originals in their extra large format. Oh well. We have a new computer now and we are treating it better (the first one had water spilled on it 4 years ago, we're surpised at how long it survived actually.) The external hard drive will be regularly used unlike before! Ooops! Anyhoo. Thought it was neat to see the Bear in all of his stages from day one to now. So different! So much bigger! His hair has lightened! What other changes do you see?

Onesie Decor

Here is one of the onesies that was decorated at the baby shower. I think our friend Briana did this one. She did a bunch of Rorschach style designs. The bear likes it, can't you tell?!

A Foot is Afoot

Aki Bear discovers his foot for the first time:

He also constantly grasps his foot with the other foot, and vice a versa. Such squishy flesh and pluckable toes:

Post Partum Bod: Hair

When you're pregnant your hair doesn't shed. It stays put for some reason and you get the thickest most luxurious head of hair. Then, 12 weeks after you give birth, it starts shedding like mad...going back to the sad limp un-full head of hair that you knew and (loved?) so long ago.

Progress!

Two posts today!

Just so you know this Monday went better than last Monday. I got home at 5:12pm and everyone was awake. The Bear was hungry but when I saw him in his bouncy chair he smiled at me! He was not doing his heartbreaking crying/talking thing. He was content and happy to see me. He still isn't drinking a ton from the bottle but I think mentally he is getting there. Progress!

Here's a cute pic, just because:

This is how we spend the day, in diapers and hats just lounging around.

Fanfy, Fawnfee, Faunfey

I have no idea how you would spell it but it is pronounced "fawn fee". That is what Mike called his little silk blanket when he was a boy. Apparently he had it until it was just a wee shred of fabric. He doesn't know why he called it that. While the Grand P's were in town (I like to pronounce Grand P's like so: "Grawnd Peeees") Grandma brought Aki Bear his very own silky just like his Pa's. It super soft  'n' silky on one side and super fuzzy soft on the other. Here he is indulging in the luxury, fuzzy side in:

...and check out his feet. He puts them in prayer position and grasps his little toes together a lot these days. I think he's got my foot agility.

I Have Hands! (I Have Paws!)

The bouncy chair that I got for the Bear is still a hit. There is this detachable arch with these three dangling creatures (a monkey, a lion and a purple hippo.) They rattle and make noise. As of last week he has discovered that he has hands - he'll grasp a toy and then just stare at his hand grasping the toy - he doesn't quite rattle it around or anything yet but he has started to grab for the little danglers:

The cat likes it too...it seems Aki Bear and Dickie the cat have similar paw skills:

Fan Boy

Aki Bear loves to be fanned after a long walk on a sunny, warm day. Our friend Lauren (from my birthing class) gave us this beautiful fan one morning when we met for coffee at the local café. The Bear makes these audible sighs and inhales while being fanned. I tried to get it on video, turn the volume up.:

First Week At Work

Sweet Aki Bear has had several nights where he is up every 2 hours to feed (growth spurt?) Sunday night wasn't different. I was hoping he'd get a better nights sleep before my first day back at work. Here is my little back to work diary for the week:

October 1, 2012 - Today is my first day back to work.

6 AM: I finish his feed and put him back down, I take a shower.
6:15 AM: I make breakfast and eat it in the dark living room, suns not quite up!
6:30 AM: Get the breast pump and my lunch all packed and ready to go.
6:45 AM: Lie back down in bed for a brief snooze.
7:30 AM: Feed the little guy one more time.
7:45 AM: The whole family gets up. Mike puts his daddy duty outfit on (slippers and boxers and a tshirt.) We hang out in bed and talk. Then we go look at his Gobbi Mobile. Mike makes a pot of coffee.
8:07 AM: I drive to work. I start to cry two times and tell myself to get it together.
8:23 AM: Arrive at work. Do the regular stuff...catch up on 3 months of emails and voicemails.
10 AM: Pump milk.
10:30 AM: Mike calls. Aki Bear barely drank an ounce of milk. Cried. Slept for only 30 minutes. Mike calls while they are on a walk around the block and apparently it starts pouring rain on them.
I go on about my workday while thinking of them constantly.
1:00 PM: Pump milk.
1:46 PM: No calls from Mike, I assume all is well.
2:58 PM: Mike calls. The Bear isn't really eating. Slept almost an hour. When Mike puts the bottle in his mouth he won't close his mouth around the nipple. He'll just see the bottle and start to cry. :(
I tell Mike that I will stop in on my way to Town Hall (I go there everyday and home is on the way!)
3:34 PM: I see Mike and the little one sitting on the front steps. No one is crying. Yay! Mike is really calm. Yay! We go to the bedroom and once we put the little guy down he starts crying. And then he stops because...boobs! Hurrah! I am crying, of course. I apologize to him and tell him that he needs to not be afraid of the bottle. I tell Mike that I'm sorry. He is surprisingly calm and cool. He's not a bundle of nerves. I ask him if he is tired. He says that he's emotionally tired but physically fine. He tells me that when I'm done to hand him over to him so I can go back to work. I do just that.
3:52 PM: Go back to work.
5:12 PM: Back home and the wee one is sleeping. Mike said he fell asleep a quarter to 5.

Mike goes to school to prep for class. I stay home and when he wakes up we hang out and it breaks my heart because he does this thing where it seems like he is trying to tell me something with his voice but he's crying it. He's not full on crying but talk-crying. It's as if he is saying, "Where were you Mama?!" or "I don't like the bottle!" Mike said that he did the same thing towards the end of the day with him as well. Heart. Shattering.

What Mike learned:
Aki Bear doesn't love the bottle right now.  If it looks like it might rain, bring an umbrella on a walk. When the boy wakes up hang out with him a bit and then heat up the bottle rather than heating up the bottle and letting the boy cry in his crib (We'll see if this helps.)

What I learned:
You have to let go and let Mike and Aki Bear get to know each other. Each parent has a different parenting style, and that's fine. I'm still emotional.

October 2, 2012 - I stay home with the bear. Business as usual.

October 3, 2012 - I go to work from 8-12.

12 PM: I am off work and Mike hasn't called me all morning. I assume all has gone well.
12:13 PM: I get home and Mike seems stressed. I think because the plumber was there and a colleague of his from work called while on daddy duty. Multi-tasking is tough for Papa Bear.
Other than that Aki Burrito took the bottle, if not a little sloppily and only 2 ounces or so.

I don't know if we learned anything new that day. I called the lactation consultant at the Birth Center for some bottle feeding advice and she called back in the afternoon and we talked. I will share her words of advice later.

October 4, 2012 - I stay home with the bear. He gets two vaccinations in the morning and cries for a second and then feels fine. He's a tough cookie. I buy a red rocking chair from Craigslist that evening. It's lovely. It's currently in our bedroom half in the closet. HA. But it is rockable there. Someday we'll have enough space to put it in a more regular spot...just need to get hoarder Mike to de-hoard.

October 5, 2012 - I go to work today; another full day!

7:45 AM: Aki Bear wakes up after a wonderful nights sleep (He had a six and a quarter hour sleep stint in there! Hallelujah!) We feed for 10 minutes.
8 AM: I hand him off to Daddy and get ready for work.
8:15 AM: I'm out the door. I don't cry on my way to work this time.
10 AM: Mike calls and says that the boy wouldn't take the bottle. One of the ideas that the lactation consultant gave was to get the bottle to him while he's still sleepy. Which is hard to do because you don't know when he's going to wake up and it can take 4 minutes to heat the bottle. Aki Bear didn't like this. He cried. Wailed. I told Mike that I couldn't come home until after 1pm because my coworker wouldn't be back until then.
12 PM: Mike calls again and says that he got him to sleep in the bouncy chair and then he woke up and finally drank 3 ounces of vintage white (that's what we're calling the pumped milk.) Hip hip hurray! Progress, I say.We talk about me coming home for the third feeding.
3 PM: Mike calls. The baby woke up and immediately started crying at the sight of the bottle. Wouldn't take it. Mike said he tried the swing, the bouncy chair, the mobile. He took him outside in the carseat/stroller and that is the only thing that is calming him down. We've decided that I shouldn't go home and feed him, for one thing I had JUST finished pumping, so not much to offer and secondly he needs to learn to take the bottle. It's so heartbreaking for me, frustrating for Mike and I'm sure the little burrito is miserable and hungry. Please little one! Eat! Mommy has not left you forever, just for three feedings today, I'll be home in two hours! If only he knew.
5 PM: I rush home, safely.
5:12 PM: They are hanging out in his crib, yo. Mike says he just woke up and that he's hungry. The good news is that after they went for a stroll at 3 PM he guzzled down 4 oz. of milk! HURRAH! Misery leads to success! Me and the Bear lie down for some comfort food...20 minutes of nursing commences.

What Mike learned:
He said he's fine tuning his strategies. He's getting to know the signs and signals of the little one. He keeps him sitting upright while feeding and slightly tugs at the bottle while he feeds so that Aki Bear will continue to suck.

What I learned: 
To tough it out. Not to rush home at the drop of the hat. Mike and the boy have got to figure it out for themselves.

Friday was much better than Monday. Aki Bear did not do his crying/talking thing, thank goodness, because that was just too much for me. Hopefully next week gets better. Wish us all luck and keep us in your thoughts: Imagine a happy boy drinking from a bottle. Thanks.