Post Nap Snuggle

Post nap, Papa snuggle:


snuggle from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Biscuits!

We did a lot of baking during the winter months, including biscuits! Yummo. The Bear enjoyed helping with such gusto.

The Hard Conversations

The Bear is not yet three and we have had several hard coversations about death. We barely touched on it when we spoke to him about stopping and looking for cars before he crosses the street (you can read about it at this post.) We talked about it when we found the dead bird in the back yard and we also talked about it most recently when my parents sent us a book called "Saying Goodbye to Lulu" by Corinne Demas:

                                      

It's such a sweet book. It's about a girl and her dog. They talk about old age, youth - and the differences between the two. They talk about mourning, memoriam and moving on but not forgetting. It's really sweet without being morbid or scary but the Bear did ask a lot of questions. Like, "Where's Lulu? I can't see her." (They don't show her when she is dead nor do they show the act of burying her but they do show a little dirt plot of where she was buried.) Our conversation was similar to our dead bird conversation. What was interesting is that he wanted to read the book again. We read it twice each night for several nights in a row. 

Here he is looking at pictures of food in the National Geographic.

One day we had several National Geographics lying out and he started leafing through them. He stopped on a page with a grid of different foods. He asked what each one was. I thought to myself, what a great magazine for a child! He can learn about different cultures and places and foods! Then he flipped to a page that was full of strife. I don't quite remember what the subject was but I think it had to do with the turmoil in Thailand. He asked me all sorts of questions like, "What's he doing, Mama?" and "What's going on?" All you can do is figure out a way to tell them without scarring them - which is hard to do. I wish I could remember the conversation better. I took these pictures of him really looking and thinking about what he was seeing:

When we went to Seattle last weekend we went to the Locks which let boats into Puget Sound from the lake. It's quite interesting. On the other side of the Locks are fish ladders which help the Salmon (and other fish) travel into the Sound. As we were walking across the bridge We saw a dead fish lying on a grate below. Bear saw it and said, "Mama, look at that fish." I told him that it was dead. He looked at it intently and slowly but surely a big frown came across his face. He was clearly saddened by this. I explained to him what probably happened and that it was sad but that the fish was not hurting anymore. He wanted to look a little longer. We stayed until he was ready to move on. I hate to see him sad like that but it is amazing to witness such empathy and sorrow.

One day while we were at the library I was drawn to this book because it was bright red and the illustration looked interesting. The book was called "The Scar" by Charlotte Moundlic. I thought it was about getting an owie on your leg and it leaving a scar. Nope. It is about a parent dying and it is one of the sweetest, loveliest, tearjerkers I have ever read. If you ever know any child who has lost a parent this is a great book. I didn't check it out for the Bear as I thought that the subject of either me or Mike dying would be a little much but I stood there in the kids section in the library and read the whole thing with tears streaming down my face. A Hot Mess, as my NC friends would've called me.

Here are some of my favorite passages, 

At first Grandma hardly moves, but then she starts looking around our house like she's searching for something or someone. She can't sit still and the last straw is when she opens the windows wide. "It's too hot in this house. We're all going to suffocate," she says. And that's too much for me. I shout and cry and scream, "No! Don't open the windows! Mom's going to disappear for good...."And I fall and the tears flow without stopping, and there's nothing I can do and I feel very tired.

____________________________

I'm scared that Grandma will think I'm crazy. But no, she comes close to me and puts her hand, then my hand, on my heart. "She's there," she says, "in your heart, and she's not going anywhere."

____________________________

I'm so afraid of forgetting Mom completely that once I know that she's in my heart, whenever I can, I run. I run until my muscles hurt, until it hurts to breathe. And then I feel Mom beating very hard in my chest.

____________________________


Grandma went home a few days ago, and when I woke up this morning, I smelled coffee and heard a voice on the radio saying that it was going to be a nice day. "It's me!" I shout from the top of the stairs, which is dumb, since Dad knows that we're the only two here but it makes him smile. He opens his arms to me, I throw myself in them, and my heart beats so hard I can almost hear Mom whispering, "Go on, my little man. Go on..."

____________________________

GAAAAHHH. Now I've got tears down my face again. It's really a great book.

To end on a lighter note I got him the book "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury. It is fun because a) They are going on a bear hunt. b) there are lots of sound effect sounds like, "Swishy Swashy!" and "Squelch Squerch!" And c) It is very repetitive. The first read-through the Bear was able to almost read along with me and definitely finish my sentences. When he went to bed the first night I read that to him I could hear him talking in the crib quoting lines, "We can't go under it, We have to go through it!" and "It's a beautiful day! We're not scared!" "Swishy swashy swishy swashy!" So cute. 

So, anyways, the hard conversations are few and far between - but important, me thinks. 

Self-Directed Play

He knows where the chopsticks are kept and we still have a lot of boxes that haven't been unpacked yet. One day I heard this funny sound: fffwwt! There he was poking chopsticks into a box. Poking holes in boxes is very satisfying. Even the noise is nice, fffwwt. Sometimes he manages to push the chopstick all the way in to the box...this is exciting because he gets to open the box and see where the chopstick went.

Ice Climber

Over the winter the plows would push the snow up into these huge piles. When the snow began to melt, these piles stuck around and became like solid blocks of ice. 

Usually it only takes 10 minutes to walk down town but this day it took about an hour. He climbed on these piles FOREVER.

Here he and Pops are on a pretend ice floe in a parking lot:

Dangerous

Here he is playing with his trainset with a bit of a garbage truck interruption - it's cute. Plus he says the word dangerous which is really cute.


choochoo from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Here he is saying the word dangerous some more:


dangerous from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Scissors

This little guy LOVES scissors. Over the winter we had to get creative and figure out some new indoor activities to do. We did a lot of collaging. He loves to cut paper. In the pic above he is cutting and gluing pieces to make a collage. 

Above he is just cutting yellow paper, just to cut it...cuz it's fun. (and messy.)

Two Regular Ol' Unexciting Interactions

I think this video was taken sometime in December or January (because of his snow boots and antlers and playing hockey indoors). It's not very exciting but it shows a regular ol' conversation - so you can be a fly on the wall, kinda.

interaction from erin kawamata on Vimeo.


Here is another video of us talking about when we should change his diaper:


a conversation from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

His Best Toys

Mike and I were talking the other day about some of the Bear's best toys. Best toys meaning long lasting - toys that he has come back to over and over again. Also best toys meaning cheap and unexpected or already on hand, like Mike's red exercise ball. The cheap/on-hand toys besides the ball are boxes and bubble wrap.

The long lasting toys that he goes back to again and again are his yellow dumptruck that I got for $2.99, and his little push truck that was handed down to him from one of my former co-workers; he loves that thing. And any toys that he uses to dig in the sand or mud = cups, shovels, spoons, sticks. That is all we will ever need.

Our Weekend Date

Almost every Saturday this past winter and spring, the Bear and I would walk downtown to the Co-op and get a hot chocolate and a cookie. (We didn't go this past weekend because the weather was soooo beautiful!)

He mostly got molasses cookies which he calls "glasses" cookies. The last several times we went he picked out the Troll House cookie which is some sort of fancy chocolate chip cookie. 

Sometimes he would get whipped cream on top. Sometimes whipped cream with sprinkles or a chocolate sauce drizzle. Sometimes just froth and cinnamon or cocoa powder in pretty designs on top:

Somedays he finished without a trace on his face. Somedays a complete and utter mess:

 But it's always (almost) a pleasure sitting across from this face and people watching.

I have a feeling these dates will be more rare now that the farmer's market is back on and the weather is so lovely! One reason to look forward to wintertime!

Bike Skills

Stan B has improved alot on his Strider bike skills. He got the bike for Christmas. Although winter isn't the ideal time practice riding bikes, mainly because it is so cold outside, I tried to get him on it as often as possible. When I would go pick him up at daycare I would walk and carry his bike and he would ride it home. When it got really wet on a daily basis outside I brought his bike inside and he would ride it back and forth in the house. Sometimes we would bring it outside when there was still snow on the ground and he loved riding it over the small snow piles.

Here is a video with him riding his bike from day one up until most recently. I think (I hope) you can see the improvements he has made in riding his bike, from mainly walking to now being brave enough to lift his feet up and glide. He really likes it.
bike skills from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Car Cart

The Bear loves these car carts at the grocery story. Sometimes we'll be in the store and he'll be "driving" and saying, "Beep beep! Watch out! Stanley's coming through!" Here he is in the cart in the parking lot, steering like a mad man:


grocery car cart from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Bear Talk

We were getting into the car at daycare and his friend Emma's mom pulled into the spot next to us just as I heard a siren in the distance.
Me: I hear a siren.
Bear: I hear it!
Me: It's an ambulance, look!
Bear: An ambulance! (pause) That's Emma's Mama. (pause) That's not an ambulance that's an Emmalance.


Here is an email that Mike sent me one morning: 

So we’re sitting at the breakfast table, sun shining, peaceful, quiet…

Bear: (after a long thoughtful look) “ I hear something.”

Mike: (straining to hear anything interesting) “What do you hear?”

Bear: (long pause, quiet voice) “I hear trees”

Mike: “What sound does a tree make?

Bear: (grinning) “Nothing!”

I crack up; he proclaims, “That’s funny!” and it really was.

Elephant = Elfanant

Me: Do you have poop in your diaper?

Bear: No. Just pee and farts.

hahahahahha!


Me: You need to calm down. You are being wild.
Bear: I'm not widle. I'm just gentle.


Bear: Mama, come here! I have a surprise!
Me: (I enter the bathroom)
Bear: Stands up and says, Tada! Poop! And points to his poop.


Bear: Mama! Come here! I have a surprise!
Me: (I enter the bathroom) Yes, what is it.
Bear: Stands up, points to his poop and says, "It's a snake!"

HAHAHHA.

The Slurp

Mike has been trying to perfect a soup noodles with mustard greens dinner - trying to emulate my favorite noodle soup at a restaurant in San Francisco. He is getting pretty close! The Bear loves it. He especially likes using his chopsticks. He's also a very good slurper. I am so proud. Tuka, you're gonna love this.

slurp from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

The Potty

This is him on the pot in NC

I've been reading about ways to potty train for years it seems...maybe more like 1.5 years. I have a friend who sent me a 40 page potty training guide that she used and so, I thought I would tackle it full on this way but then I read up to page ten and had a change of heart. Page ten starts off with the title: What I Expect From You (the author is talking about the parent or the trainer) and then listed these expectations:

If you watch television at certain times, this will change. 
If you have a workout schedule, this will be impacted. 
If you run errands, this will be impacted. 
If you spend a lot of time online, this will be impacted. 
If you spend a lot of time on the phone, this will be impacted. 
If you nap, this will be impacted. 
If you work at home, this will be impacted.

I probably sighed and closed the document on my computer because at this time (he was about 20 months) I think we we fell back into a bad sleeping zone and I was too exhausted to add the challenge of potty training to my to-do list. So I put the idea of potty training on the back burner.

Somewhere in between 20 months and his 2nd birthday he started lying down on the ground and telling me to change his diaper. This was a definite sign of readiness to be potty trained. So I became more proactive about his little potty in the bathroom. I would make sure that it was there and open, ready for him to sit...and then we moved across the country and I wasn't fully committed to potty training on the road.

Once we settled in, months after the Bear's 2nd birthday he started wanting to "pee like Papa." So we would show him how to do that by standing on his bathroom stool. His favorite part is flushing the toilet.

One morning after his initial diaper change I decided to let him run around without any pants or diaper but told him that if he needed to pee that he had to go on the potty. I think he peed 4 times on the potty that morning. The next morning he did it again; I thought that he was well on his way to being trained so I thought a fun thing to do would be to go to the store and get some big boy undies, so we did. The next morning after he made his first pee on the potty I put his big boy undies on and 15 minutes later he peed in them. I realized that wearing something made him feel like he was wearing a diaper. This lasted a week and then it happened less. I don't quite remember why. I just wasn't fully committed. (This was last fall.)

A brief stint in undies.

In the last 2 months we made a potty chart. We call it the Poo-Poo Train Track. I drew train tracks and every time he peed on the potty he would get a sticker. If he pooped on the potty he would get 2 stickers. If he initiated having his diaper changed he would get a sticker. Once the chart is filled he gets to go to the store to pick out a toy of his choice (within reason). So far he has filled in two charts. We are working on our third chart.

Daycare has been great in working with him on going on the potty. He has pull up diapers that he uses too. Some days he will use the potty all day and never wet his diaper. Some days he only uses the potty once or twice. I think what they do is put him on the potty every 1-2 hours just to get him to try and pee. I wasn't doing that at home.

This is one of his daily summary sheets from daycare on a good potty day!

I think nothing was truly sticking up until now because I wasn't ready to take the plunge. That page ten in the potty training guide must have really messed with me. So, it wasn't until I was committed that we started seeing progress.

I am committed now. This is why: A new school. We found the loveliest school for him. We love where he is now but this new place is really special. It has fewer students. It's for 3-6 year olds. It's a Montessori and play based inspired school. There is one lead teacher and she has an assistant that comes in 1-2 times per week; so there is consistency. They have two guinea pigs and chickens. There is a sweet play area. They have a garden that they help plant and eat from. When we got the tour it was amazing watching the Bear in the space. He was completely engaged and calm yet excited. We asked for a spot and we got it! (He'll start there in mid-August) The only thing that the teacher asked was to have him mostly potty trained (eek!) and that she would check back with our progress at the end of May (eek! eek!) That there lit a fire under my tushie.

First: What we've done-
We started two Saturdays ago and I put him in big boy undies all weekend. He had 3 accidents. One on the sidewalk in front of our house and two at the park. All pee accidents. He pooped on the potty both days with success and pure excitement and pride, "Mama! Come here! I did it! I did it!" I even took a picture, but I won't share it here. I did send the pic to Mike though, lucky duck. I believe he had one accident at daycare on the Monday following that initial weekend. Tuesday morning he had a pee accident in his bedroom. But when he first woke up that day he said, "I have to go potty" and proceeded to run to the bathroom and went pee!! So proud. Tuesday at daycare he had one accident again. When he came home that night he pooped (for the fourth day in a row) and he called out, "Mama! Come here!" When I go tot the bathroom he said, "I have a surprise for you!" and when he stood up he pointed at the poop in his potty and said, "Tada! Poop!" Ha! Wednesday through Friday at daycare he was accident free! He had an accident when he was out with Papa on Saturday and one pee accident with me on Sunday on our bike ride but he is consistent with his poops. No poop accidents! We are so proud.

Second: How we did it-
Jelly beans. I told myself I would never do this but played it over and over in my head, how could it hurt? The only two things I could think of were a) cavities and b) we will have to transition him out of the jelly bean reward. My solutions are a) brush more often and b) slowly transition him out of the jelly bean rewards after he gets the hang of it. I also think that having him in undies will make him feel uncomfortable because they don't have the wicking powers of a diaper and he will not want to sit in a soiled diaper for very long. We'll see. I'll provide an update with the jelly bean rewards. I think having conversations about it with him will really help with the transition. He understands sooo much. It's amazing.

Third: What I've learned so far-
a) Read past page 10 of the potty training guide because potty training so far hasn't impacted any of that stuff that was listed.
b) Bring extra dipes, pants (at least two pairs) and wipes where ever you go. Accidents happen.
c) Accidents aren't as terrible as I thought they would be. When they do happen stay calm; it's not a big deal.
d) Ask if they need to go potty often. Remind them that they are wearing underwear and not a diaper. If it has been awhile since they have peed and they still say they don't need to go, go anyway, I bet the pee will flow.
e) He has an expression that he makes when he needs to go potty. So I call him on it and he always says, yeah, I gotta go pee (or poo) and runs to the bathroom.

On Sunday we went for a long bike ride and he peed 3 times on the side of the trail. He LOVED doing that. He would say, "I peed in the bushes!" or "I peed on the rocks!" When we got home he said, "I need to go pee!" and ran toward the door to go outside. I quickly said, "When we are at home we pee in the toilet. " He paused, looked at me and said, "Oh, O.K." and went in the bathroom. YAY!

So, I wouldn't say he is fully potty trained (he is still sleeping in a diaper) but we are getting there and seeing progress! Leaps and bounds!

Dancing to Swamp Rock

Creedence Clearwater Revival boogie down plus an intro about where Nana and Tuka went:
CCR from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Circle Time Parachute

Since I've been working full time we no longer go to circle time at the library which Stan B loved doing. Luckily they have circle time on the third Saturday of every month at the local mall. We sing songs, listen to stories and play with a parachute! FUN!


parachute from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Baking Blueberry Muffins

This boy has got one big sweet tooth. He wanted cupcakes so we made blueberry muffins and they were delicious! He loves helping bake and cook things. So this was fun for him, especially because of the nibbling of blueberries and licking of the spoons.

Co-Sleeping on the Road

On the last night at Grandma and Grandpa's house I let Stan B sleep in bed with me. When I first left him he was lying properly with his head at the head of the bed and his feet at the foot of the bed. When I came to bed several hours later he had managed to turn a perfect 90 degrees. He was adorably out cold and there's nothing as lovely as repositioning a warm, heavy, sleepy babe. If we had a bigger bed at home I would co-sleep all the time.

More Bath Play

Here he is squirting lotion into cups of water. The lotion floated around in the water like worms. It was super cool.

Another day I let him bring into the tub pieces of yarn that he had cut up with scissors. This was a sort of motor skills exercise because he would put the yarn in the water and then he would try to either catch the yarn with his hands or with a cup. 

And then the shaving cream, which I posted a video for last week. Here are some stills:

Popcorn

Someone LOVES popcorn and watching it pop:
popcorn from erin kawamata on Vimeo.