Screen Time

Stan B watching Daniel Tiger

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of screen time per day for children. Now, after having a toddler that watches T.V. programs and sometimes DVDs/VHSs, I have been able to observe what screen time does with my own two eyes. Even if some days he watches less than one hour or nothing at all for that matter, I can see what it does and what I would have done differently before introducing him to certain programs or movies.

Just because a movie is rated G doesn't mean that there aren't scary parts. There are pretty intense scary moments in movies for small children who have never seen a scary thing in their lives. From the library we checked out three different movies that were all rated G but had some scary moments or scary characters. They were all animated movies. The first movie we checked out was called The Little Engine That Could (2011). The premise is basically based off the book of the same title but the trains live in a place called Dream World or Dream Land or something in which they deliver dreams to the children who live in the Real World. The scary part is that there is also a very scary Nightmare Train. I remember when it first appeared I had an Oh-crap Moment. I knew it was too intense for the Bear. I've learned that the best thing to do is to make sure that the Bear felt safe talking to me about it and explaining to him as much as I could. He told me right away, "I don't yike that train." I told him that he had good instincts and that I didn't like it either but that it was just pretend. The second one was Tale of the Brave which is a Thomas the Train movie. In that movie it talks about fear of the unknown.  In this case the unknown is a dinosaur's footprint fossil that Thomas thinks is a monster's footprint. From that begins talk around the rail yard which causes fear in other trains. Then pranks ensue and one train makes a scary looking train monster (made of scraps and trash) to scare another train. The train monster is back lit, at night, so you just see it's silhouette. All the talk of monsters and such really stuck in the Bear's head. The last one we watched was The Secret of Nimh. For some reason the scariest characters are actually good and wise. But they make them big and dark with red or orange or green glowing eyes which is really creepy. Stan B said, "Scary? Bad?" I had to explain that yes, they looked scary but that they were actually good guys. He still said that he didn't "yike" them. I understood.

So, now he is afraid of monsters in dark places, especially closets. He wants lights on in his room at night. I took down his fabulous foot painting that was hanging above his crib because I think some of the brush strokes resemble something scary, especially in the dark. We explain to him our imaginations (which is so abstract and hard to explain) so we use the term "pretend" a lot which he gets. He has woken up crying with nightmares (a hand full of times) from which he usually settles down quickly and simply needs a hug and some reassurance. I don't indulge his lights-on-at-bedtime request. He does have a night light that projects the planets onto the ceiling (although it is still fairly dim) and sometimes he sleeps with an additional bunny night light. I'm pretty sure that if he hadn't watched these movies that he would not be talking about monsters and being afraid of the dark. If I could turn back time (read that like Cher would read it), I would not have let him watch any movies because one, he can't even sit through it. Twenty to thirty minutes in and he is off playing with his cars or legos or wanting to read a book. Secondly, he would not be so fearful of things. To take a positive spin on it, it has allowed us to practice our communication; we get to talk about make believe, fiction, fears, and imagination but I hate that he is afraid of the dark and monsters now.

I have decided to no longer rent DVDs from the library unless they are particular ones that I know, like Sesame Street, Bob the Builder, Max and Ruby, etc. The best shows that I have watched with him are all PBS Kids shows (even PBS cooking shows!) Mind you, we don't have cable so we only get about 10 or so channels. But PBS Kids shows are always a safe bet. His favorite is Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood - which is a Mr. Rogers production. Sesame Street is also usually a hit along with Arthur, Curious George, Peg + Cat, and Dinosaur Train.

Every parent is different and it's such a fuzzy line to walk...what to let your child watch and how much to let your child watch. Just like every parent is different, every child is different. The Bear might be extra sensitive...he also may not have as long of an attention span when it comes to screen time as some other kids. From observing him with screen time I've learned that 30 minutes at a time is probably enough because he tends to move on to another activity on his own. I also learned that if I want to censor any too-scary parts of movies that I need to research the movies or programs before he watches them (which seems like way to much work for me - especially with movies.) This world can be a horrific place to live in, he'll learn that for himself eventually but he's a child - a toddler. I figure, why not show him the delightful world, free of horror, for as long as realistically possible without sheltering him too much? No need to hurry his childhood. We only live once.