Repetition in Movement

I wonder if this is soothing for him to do; I imagine it is. He also discovers that one side is prickly. Have a watch:

grater from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Shaving Cream Play

When I was a wee human I loved playing with shaving cream on a smooth surface. I thought I would try it with Stan Bear one evening while I cooked dinner. I probably won't do it again while I cook dinner because it was more of a chore but he seemed to enjoy it for a little bit (but he lost interest long before dinner was done).
shaving cream from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Back on the Craft Train

I've picked up knitting and crocheting again. (I suppose I've crocheted his first two Halloween costumes.) But I feel like I'm finding time to regularly board the craft train again. I crocheted him this extra tall black hat:

 And I knitted him these little blue fingerless gloves:

I think the cold weather always inspires this type of craft. I'm currently making him leg warmers!

It's Easier When He's Involved

(I flubbed on the posting time of yesterday's post. So if you didn't catch it yesterday it's up!)

Dinnertime is challenging in our house. On daycare days I pick the Bear up at 5:15 PM and get home around 5:30 PM. The easiest thing to do is reheat something just for him to eat for dinner and then Mike and I will have dinner later (around 8 usually). However, I love to be able to eat my dinner with the Bear. I think he appreciates it too. It makes him feel like one of us. It is challenging though. Mike usually comes home around 7:15 on average so I fly solo tending to the very active Bear and cooking dinner. One evening instead of trying wrangle the Bear and whip up dinner I thought, "What if I let him help?" That also sounded like a craaaaazy idea but I gave it a try and OH MY GOODNESS! It was easier! It was awesome! We made roasted brussel sprouts, sweet potatoes and bacon.

 I sat him in his booster seat and gave him a little bowl while I peeled the sweet potatoes. He put the potato skins into the  little bowl (and then dumped them out and then put them back in again.) When I started to chop the sweet potatoes I would push them to him and he would put them in the big bowl. Then I washed the brussel sprouts and put them in a bowl. He took them out and put them in his little bowl which is where I grabbed them from and chopped them in half. Once everything was chopped up and in one big bowl I drizzled olive oil and let him mix it up with his hands although he preferred to stir it up with a spatula.

 

He also tried eating everything raw. When it was time to put them on a cookie sheet I let him help me transfer the veggies from the bowl to the sheet. When we were done I took him out of his chair so he could watch me put them in the preheated oven. Here he is pointing at them in the oven:

It was so much easier letting him be involved rather than trying to keep him away. Plus he got to be a part of the prepping which he loves so much.

Action:

the cook from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Buckethead

Stan Bear has been experimenting with perception lately...or obscured vision. He puts the pizza pan in front of his face (it has lots of little holes) and walks around the kitchen. He puts fabric over his head and walks around like a ghost with bad vision. This one cold, winter day he put a little red bucket over his head while we were listening to "A Charlie Brown Christmas". It's a little long but it's quite funny.

buckethead from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas from Maryland, y'all!

Thoughts on Christmas

Christmas decorations at one of the neigbor's house.

I constantly get asked at work if "I'm ready for Christmas." I always say yes. It's true. Even in February, I'm ready for Christmas. My parents taught me to give all year around. Why wait until Christmas to give someone something, especially if it is something they can use NOW?

Now that we have a wee one we not only get asked if we're ready for Christmas but are we going to "Spoil the little one for Christmas." My answer is always, "No. I'm going to try to keep it from him for as long as I can." At least the Santa-bringing-presents version of Christmas. I really don't like that version.

I don't remember believing in Santa Claus when I was wee. (Do you remember, Mom and Dad, if I believed in Santa?) I don't know if it was because I was raised Buddhist (I don't think that's why because I was exposed to Christmas and Santa at school and my parents still celebrated Christmas - we had a tree, presents. Most of my friends believed in Santa [I think]). Perhaps it is because my parents were not the parents who would put cookies out for St. Nick - they never perpetuated the Christmas lie (sorry for my bah-humbug-bluntness) or maybe because in the first place I lived we had no chimney; or maybe because my Dad signed presents, "Stanta" not Santa; or maybe because my Dad worked for Sears and would bring home the Sears catalog and asked us to circle things we wanted and I was no dummy, I could put two and two together...my dad was no elf. (Menehune, maybe, elf, no.) I remember understanding that Santa wasn't real but I still loved the stories of Santa - I loved him as a character in a fictional story. I loved singing Christmas songs and playing them on the piano. I even remember in middle school, a classmate of mine was telling me how she found all of these wrapped and unwrapped presents in her parents closet and how she was DEVASTATED to learn that Santa wasn't real. I remember thinking, "You still believe in Santa?" but not saying it out loud. I was silently judging her (if only Santa knew (and if only he was real), I would have gotten coal in my stocking...ha!) I think it is that story that started to shape the way I feel about the Santa-bringing-presents version of Christmas.

I was talking to Mike about how we should introduce Christmas to Stanley. We're gonna be very nonchalant about it all, especially in these early years. We won't hide truth from him but we're not going to build up Santa or Christmas trees. If we see a Christmas tree we'll tell him what it is. He met Santa last Friday at daycare and when I cam to pick him up Miss Tonya said, "Stanley saw Santa, ran right up to him and sat on his lap." I told her that he likes people with beards. Our Christmas tree is a big houseplant (a Norfolk Pine that I almost killed by leaving it out during a couple of frosts last winter so it's not very tree like anymore) that we decorate with our small collection of ornaments. When my brother and I were young adults my parents stopped getting a tree and instead decorated one of their many large houseplants.

We got him 2 presents this year. One is this little play mirror by Melissa & Doug, because he loves looking at himself in the mirror and he loves manipulating things. I also ordered a really sweet Names and Faces book by Pinhole Press. Here's the cover and a couple of the inside pages:

I think Mike may have framed a piece of art for the Bear's room too.

The other night as we were getting home (it was dark outside) he could see our neighbor's Christmas lights and he pointed at them enthusiastically. I told him that they were Christmas lights and that maybe we'll inspect them more closely this weekend. We did just that. We walked down the street to check out the lawn full of decor and lights.

That's Stan B's hand coming into the picture...his palm is up. He enjoyed looking at the lights and going for a walk in the backpack while it was dark out!

That is one of my favorite things about this time of year, Christmas lights. My other favorite things this time of year are Christmas Pageants, the Nutcracker, and my parent's wood-carved nativity scene.  My Mom took me to the local Methodist Church's pageant each Christmas and I LOVED it. I loved the characters and costumes and the songs were my favorite. Another Wintertime tradition was going to see the Nutcracker with my Mom; I still enjoy the music. Each time we would pull the Christmas ornaments out I was always so excited to come upon the wood-carved nativity scene. I can still picture the face of one of the 3 Kings and the simplicity of the carving. They were like dolls and I was that stereotypical doll-playing girl. Reminiscing on these favorites got me to thinking about Christmas and what it really means and how I think a majority of Americans forget it's original meaning (with the Christmas decor going up in stores right after Halloween. With stores open on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, etc.) December 25 is Jesus' Birthday (although Mike will argue that point with me and say that actually Jesus was probably born sometime in March (some say September). As non-Christian people I think Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the gift of giving, family, friends, helping others. As open-minded and loving non-Christians we will teach the Bear about Jesus and his post birth story because I think it's important. It's more important than buying him the next, best children's toy. There's a magic and warmth about Christmas (I think Santa is a huge part of that) but so are the lights and the songs and the stories. We will strive, as a family, to focus on the magic rather than the Santa-bringing-presents version of the holiday. We will try to preserve the magic of it all.

Those are the lights on the right...it's not a fire.

New Words & Signs

words and signs from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Words he can say or kinda say (New ones are in Red, ones with slight changes to them are in Green):

BALL : mostly pronounced: Bahl

PAPA : mostly pronounced: BAba! or Papa! or Poppy (which sometimes sounds like he's saying "Bobby" :) . 

DADDY: Dada! Daddy! I think when he calls Mike Poppy it's a mix of Papa + Daddy = Poppy. The strange thing is we never really call eachother Daddy or Mommy, it's just something that he naturally says. Interesting, right?

MAMA : Mama! He also calls me Dada or Daddy. Haha. 

MOMMY: Mommy!

KITTY : ts ts ts

CHICKEN : ts 

TRUCK : CHUHH!

BUS : BUH!

SHOE : Shhh

DUCK : djuh

DOG : djah

MEOW : YOW!

WOOF : voof voof

CHOO CHOO/TRAIN : chuhchuh!

HORSE SOUND : "shakes head back and forth" 

YUM : mmmmmmmmm

HOT : hah hah hah or just simply hah (breathy)

HAT : hah. He will now put anything on his head, the tub plug, a cup and say, "HAH" - very cute. 

BYE-BYE : Ba-bye or Bye

BOOK : Buh

Signs he can make:

MILK

DIAPER

MORE

HELP

ALL DONE

HOT

FOOD

PLEASE : He is learning this. I'm not sure he knows what it means yet. But we got him to sign "more food please" the other morning while eating breakfast. It was very funny. The sign for "Please" is this:

Although I think I did it with a fist instead of an open hand. Stan Bear's version is taking both open hands and rubbing his chest as if he's putting on sunscreen. It is hilarious. 

THANK YOU : We're teaching him this too and he'll kind of do it, it's similar to blowing a kiss, which he definitely can do. I love that he can blow kisses and give high fives. He will also clap for himself if he does something great...which happens often. Ha!

Image from: http://creatingus.blogspot.com/

Sweetness

Humans are born to know how to hug. We didn't teach him this. He just started doing it. It's so sweet.


sweetness from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Parenting Improv

When I was pregnant I prepared myself for a lot of things baby: eating, sleeping, pooping, growing, etc. What I didn't read about was parenting among other parents and their children. It's really WEIRD(awkward), especially if you are not used to being in someone else's space. Especially when someone else's space is their sweet child. (Plus, I'm already socially awkward without baby.)

Scenario 1: Stan Bear walks over to a child at the museum with the big blue blocks and tries to grab a block out of his hand. The other child says, "Noooo!" Stan holds his ground and still tries to take it. I sit there, not doing anything. I figure, it's a block, they'll figure it out. The parent of the child comes in and says, "Charlie, you can share. It's o.k." and then Charlie ends up giving the block to Stanley. I then think, oh, am I a bad parent? Should I have intervened and told Stan Bear to share and pick another block, one that wasn't being used? So, I do that the next time that it happens. I step in and tell him, "This boy is playing with that block. You can play with this one instead." - as I hand him another block. It works for a little while but there's something so intriguing to Stan Bear about the blocks or toys that some other kid is playing with. He sees someone else playing with something and he has to have it. 

No matter how I react I'm always second guessing myself and being ridiculously self-conscious like, "Does that parent think my child is a bully and that I am o.k. with his behaviour because I'm not stepping in?" or "Am I an overbearing parent by making decisions for my child?" It always feels weird to me either way. It doesn't help that Stanley's personality is so assertive and fearless (unlike mine) because I would never put myself in these situations yet I have this little person who is doing that on a daily basis.

Scenario 2: The other day we were at a local children's consignment shop and they have a play area in the back of the store.  A little boy was playing in a toy car, the kind that you shuffle (like a Flintstone) to make it go and Stan Bear walked right up, opened the door and grabbed the boy's hand as if to pull him out. (I like to call this a playground carjacking.) So, I got up, because I felt like that was pretty uncool of the Bear but the other boy's Mom got there first and put her hands on Stan Bear's arm and said, "He is playing in the car, you need to wait your turn." It rubbed me the wrong way even though I would have said a similar thing to the Bear. I think it was the fact that she put her hands on the Bear and was so stern and no nonsense - it was almost like she forgot that Stanley is a tiny kid who hasn't perfected his sharing skills yet (but I know she was well intentioned and trying to protect her little one - nobody likes a playground carjacking.) So I entered in on the scene and looked at Stanley and said, "Hey buddy, this boy is playing with this car, let's come over here to play with this other car." and right as I said that a little girl hopped into the other car which frustrated Stan Bear to no end (insert grumpy face and audible whining.) I said, "Oh, she was swift. I know you really want to play with one of the cars but we'll have to be patient. Would you like to play with this instead?" and we were patient and played with something else.  

It's so stressful for me. It's similar to that anxiety I feel when speaking in public. I feel like my parenting is on display yet I haven't rehearsed. It's parenting improv and it's a little nerve racking.

It has happened the other way around as well where Stan B. was playing with something and another child wanted what he was playing with. Usually the Bear will hold on tight to what he is playing with - he's got a grip of steel + grumpy face. He also likes to try and get a hold of as many things as his little arms can carry and he will get upset if someone tries to grab hold of one. When this happens I try to step in and tell him that he should share the toys with the other children.

My friend shared (ha!) this article on not sharing. I sorta like how the preschool that the author's child is in has a rule that a child can play with something for as long as they want. Because of this written rule there is no (or less) WEIRDNESS - no parenting improv (at least when it comes to sharing). There are specific directions! (I sometimes wish there were specific parenting rules on the playground.) But I wonder if this inhibits interaction between children (and parents) which I think is an important part of learning. While I agree with her about the two examples of questionable sharing practices (because as a parent I would never tell another kid that he needs to stop playing with a toy and give it to my boy because I am not fearless and assertive nor do I think it's my place.) BUT, I disagree about her "Real World Lessons." More specifically I don't think sharing as a child can be translated so literally to adulthood.  She writes, 

If you doubt my reasoning, think about your own day-to-day adult life. You wouldn't cut in front of someone in the grocery checkout line, just because you didn't feel like waiting. And most grown adults wouldn't take something from someone, like a phone or a pair of sunglasses, just because they wanted to use it.

I think what she is missing is that there are two sides to sharing. There is the kid who is going in and "carjacking" and there is the other kid who is having something taken from him. There are two lessons to be learned: to be patient (and try not to lose it if you don't get what you want) and to share...both involve being thoughtful. I think teaching children to share is a good lesson in being selfless and thoughtful of those around you and that can extend into adulthood.

I actually have an ongoing parenting clash with the stern woman and her child who was almost carjacked by the Bear, which leads us to the third scenario.
Scenario 3: My first interaction with her was great. I learned about where they were from and how they live near the park. Then, that same day Stan Bear saw this gorgeous white, fluffy dog sitting near the tree. He saw it before I did, of course, and he began walking towards it. I told him that we don't know this dog and we have to be careful. So, I held him back and knelt down and put my hand out to the dog to make sure it was friendly. It was, so I let Stanley touch the dogs back. He loved the dog, of course. He gave the dog a HUGE hug. Then the lady came over and said to the dog, "Hey Duke (I don't remember his real name) come back over here." And she pulled him by the collar and led him underneath the picnic table. She didn't say anything to me about not touching the dog. She just moved him under the table. Stan Bear continued to hug the dog and she came over and picked Stan Bear up and moved him away and said, "No Stanley. I don't even let my boy touch the dog this way." I remember thinking, "Whoa, lady. All you had to do was say, please don't touch the dog."

Scenario 4: The next time I saw her (several weeks later) we were at the slides and she was picking up her son and putting him at the top of the slide and helping him slide down. Meanwhile Stan Bear was climbing the steps and made it to the top and was waiting at the top of the slide while the other boy slid down. She didn't move out of the way but she lifted Stanley up from standing and sat him down at the top and he slid down. She was being helpful but Stanley didn't need her help in sitting down. He knew how to do it and I was standing right there - if he needed my help I could have helped him. It was just bizarre to me. 

Her boundaries are different than mine. The only time I would touch her child is if I felt like he was about to fall off the jungle gym or if he looked right at me and asked for my help. That scenario reminds me of this article titled Please Don't Help My Kids. It's really worth a read. Here's a quote from it:

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves. 

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb. If they can't do it on their own, they will survive the disappointment. What's more, they will have a goal and the incentive to work to achieve it.

This mom that I clash with is more hands-on than me and I try my hardest to be hands-off. I want to respect her choices; I don't want to disrupt her parenting. I think that's why I get upset - I don't feel like she respects my choices as a parent.

Maybe I'm overreacting. All I know is that I wasn't prepared for these interactions. It's when these spaces cross that I feel awkward - even when I don't react in a certain way, I feel awkward. I don't know if that makes sense. I think what I need to try to do is shut out those self-conscious thoughts and focus on what I think is appropriate for the situation. I need to continue to have respect for the other parents and children around me while simultaneously caring for my assertive and fearless boy.

I had a great conversation about this with my friend Alison and she said something like, "You are a guide for Stanley." A GUIDE! That term has already brought more clarity to this parenting improv thing. I am his guide. I will point at the doors and show him the different paths but it is up to him to choose which ones to open and walk through.

Climber

We've got a climber on our hands:

Yeah, this tree isn't very tall but he considers this tree climbing. This is a crepe myrtle which our street is lined with (during the spring and summer it has beautiful pink blossoms).

That pic is at the park. He can climb up this thing all on his own. I usually have to point to him where to put his hands and feet but he can get all the way up and onto the platform without any physical assistance.

Here he is climbing up a slide and falling and sliding back down. Hahaha. He's pointing at me as if to say, "S.O.S. Mama!"

He also is drawn to the little climbing wall at the museum. I think a visit to the community center climbing wall is in our future.

Dishwasher

Stan B wants to do whatever it is that we do. I was washing dishes one morning and he kept grabbing at my leg so I pulled the chair over and set him beside me to "help".

 He loved it. Now, when he's in the kitchen he will push the chair to the sink and climb up there and "wash dishes" a.k.a. play with water and measuring cups.

 I just hope this lasts into his teenage years...

Warm Laundry

This boy loves a pile of warm laundry:

Sorry for the creepy, blurry picture. Here's some hilarious action:


warm laundry two from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Check out my previous posts on the boy and laundry, here and here.

An Eagerness to Help

Here he is in the spot where the kitty's food bowls usually go. He removed them and is now trying to fit under the little table (he really loves little hideouts like this.)

One of the funniest things the Bear does...well, let me give you a brief history. From the moment the Bear was able to move around (crawl) Mike or I would move Dickie the Cat's food bowls to the stove top or counter top so that the little crawler (now walker/runner) couldn't tip the water or eat the food. NOW when he comes into the kitchen and he sees the cat's bowls he picks them up and hands them to me or attempts to put them up on the counter. It is hilarious and adorable and just plain ol' funny. He is more helpful than he realizes. The best is when he is trying to walk with the water bowl and the water splish-sploshes out and all over the floor. AAAhhhh. I suppose our next step is to try to explain to him that we can leave them on the floor we just don't play with them or eat from them, although I really love his eagerness to help out. Wish us luck.

Sopping Wet

He loves being outside. I know I've said that before...a million times before. It's a bummer that by the time we get home now it's pretty dark outside. It's cold too. But he still likes being outside. This one wet evening after I picked him up from daycare he found a puddle (surprise!) and ends up getting sopping wet. (He ends up sitting in it.) Watch his puddle pleasure:


sopping wet from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Waddle

I went to meet a friend and her adorable little boy in Raleigh a couple of weeks ago. There is a children's museum there called Marbles and it is AMAZING. I would like to take the Bear back so we can explore it more freely. It's right downtown and all the leaves were on the sidewalk and as we were walking back to the car Stan Bear and I dragged our feet through the leaves. He then makes a break for it up the ramp and it's fun to just watch his little waddle:


waddle from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Dinosaurs and Skate Parks

Here are Zak and Stan chillin' on the Dino Walk at the Museum of Life and Science. They both wanted to crawl under/climb over the measly little rope keeping them "safe" from the dinosaurs. If only the museum people knew that they need a more serious barrier to keep their dinosaurs safe from these two fellas.

Since we were in Durham already I decided to head downtown and find their craft fair (I didn't find it) but I did find their farmers market and the cool skate park next to it. We watched the skaters for a good amount of time.

I really shouldn't be pushing this daredevil stuff on the Bear as I think it already comes with his design. He climbs on drums and stomps on them, walks to the top of the slide and wants to continue walking down it or throws himself head first down it, climbs on the skate board (scary), wants to climb every tree he sees and wants to go high on the swing (he now loves the swing). Oh, and he also likes walking/swishing through the bath water. OY. Can anyone say toothless ten times fast?

All Done!

This is his all done "sign". Love it. I don't love how he throws his bowl on the floor and then throws his hands up in the air. I'm trying to teach him that the bowl throwing aspect of "all done" isn't necessary. Wish me luck.

Second Thanksgiving

Here he is attempting to use the chopsticks.

It was just the three of us and so we had Japanese food for Thanksgiving because we both LOVE. Mike did all the cooking. Yay for me! He made gyoza, sushi, (the one thing I did do was roll up rice in nori for the boy as we are not ready to give him raw fish yet), steamed green beans, and soup noodles with shredded pork and mustard greens (which Mike is trying to perfect to copy my favorite soup noodle bowl from the Taiwan Restaurant in San Francisco.)

I was truly impressed with Aki Bear's chopstick skills. Above is his first attempt (dull side down! close but no cigars!) Look at his concentration! Then he got the right end down and BOOM stabbed the roll:

And even managed to get it in his mouth! 

Here is a detail of part of our feast. Mike warmed the sake in Aki Bear's bottle warmer again! Ha!

Here is a detail of his technique:

 For his dessert I blended frozen watermelon with orange juice...he was in brain freeze heaven:

It was this time last year that he was trying his very first solid food, a sweet potato! My! Time flies!

Rolling Pin

I like this because I just thought it was cute and he had a knack with the rolling pin. Mike likes it because apparently Stan Burrito uses the same rolling technique that it takes to roll a lithograph roller thing-a-ma-jig (I am not a printmaker).  Have a look-see:


rolling pin from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

The Creek

If we walk past the fourth house down from us our street ends and there are the woods and a small creek that separates our neighborhood from the busy two lane road just beyond. It is lovely back there. There isn't an official trail but there is a worn in footpath that I'm sure not just us have created. One of the neighbors whose house butts up to the creek has placed a cute little creekside bench for their own use. We walk back there and toss rocks in the creek, walk the path and look at the trees. It's a good time.

Here is some creekside action:
the creek from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

A Boy and His Balls

NO! Not those kinds of balls! These kinds of balls:

These are all of his balls. From largest to smallest.

Our friend Bill stopped by the other evening and Stan Bear was still awake and he was riled up (that hyper/tired state) and grabbed one of his toy balls and tossed it at Bill and saying, "BAAAHHL!!!" and then ran and grabbed another ball and did the same thing...and then again with another ball. It wasn't until then that I realized how many balls he actually has. A LOT!

Here he is sitting on one while he inspects a leaf or a rock:

We were at the park the other day and he was drawn to these 3 boys and one man playing a game of soccer on the basketball courts. The man was so kind and changed the rules so that Stan Bear had to start the play each time. He wasn't on a team, per sé, but he ran around the court with them as if he was on someones team. It was nice of them and a great time for the Bear. I got some of it on video (he's the short one not kicking the ball and wandering aimlessly most of the time):

soccer from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

And here is a cute one of him kicking the ball:

kick! from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Over Turkey Day weekend when Mike had a football game on Stan Bear would stand there and watch and clap after a play and shout, "BAAAAALLL!" while pointing at the screen.  Very funny and cute.

Prune

The boy loves his bath time. His average time in the bath is probably somewhere between 25 and 30 minutes. The longest has been 55 minutes. (!!!) His latest bath amusement is lowering one ear to the water and then listening to me knocking or slapping the side of the tub. It's as if it's the best sensation to him in the entire world. He loves it.