Sweet Child of Mine

O.K. so maybe this isn't exactly a smile but it's adorable. That is Mike's salt and pepper beard on the left. I cut him out of the picture because he looked kinda creepy! Ha!

Aki Bear has this amazing smile. It lights up his entire face: his eyes, his mouth, his dimples on his cheeks. It even seems to shoot out of every pore like this tangible and contagious rainbow; as if you could grab it and put it on yourself like a mask. You can't be expressionless when you see his smile, you always smile a real smile back. Not only do the corners of your mouth turn up but your heart swells, your blood warms, your tummy flutters, the world around you blurs. There is a purity about it. He doesn't fake it; he doesn't know how. It's the real deal. It's pure and simple happiness, unsullied.  

It's the truest of the true. 

It's the brightest of the bright. There are moments when I smile or make an expression and for an instant, a flash, I recognize part of that expression in me as him - it's the same shape - as if I'm channeling him. I don't know if it's me mimicking him or if I have bits and pieces of this rainbow left from when I was a baby and I've passed it along to him but forgotten it myself along the way. Does that make sense? I was trying to explain it to Mike the other night and struggled to explain it to him so I told him I would try to write about it. (I'm not so good with speaking language, I'm much better with written language.) I think we can re-learn a lot from babies. I think we grown-ups knew it once upon a time.

I wonder how we can nurture this rainbow? If I can see flickers of it in me at age 38 there must be ways to hold on to it a bit longer - or bring it back.

After I wrote that above I hopped in the car and the Guns 'N' Roses song, "Sweet Child O' Mine" came on the radio (kismet!) and I listened to the words for what seemed like the first time ever (even though I owned that 45 record when I was in Junior High.) Here are the lyrics:

She's got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine  

Where do we go?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go? 

Oh, oh.

The end of the song repeats that last bit over and over again. I asked Mike what he thought that meant ("Where do we go? Where do we go now? etc.) He said, "Those are the teenage years." Ha!