You're O.K.! vs. Are You O.K.?

He sleeps.

I have heard or read about not using the term "You're O.K.!" when your child falls or bops his head or gets water in her eyes. As caretakers, instead of telling them that they are O.K. we should ask them if they are O.K. because this is a way to let them know that what they may be feeling is real and it's alright to feel however they are feeling. I've also taken it a step further by explaining what has happened. Here is a great example of how talking about it really helped the Bear. He was playing in the bath, scooping up water with a pitcher and dumping it on himself. He ended up dumping it on his face and he started crying. Instead of me saying, "You're O.K." and having him continue to cry, I said, "Are you alright? I saw you pour water on your face. Did it get into your eyes, nose and mouth? It got into your eyes didn't it? I bet that feels funny." As I said eyes, nose and mouth I pointed to them on my face." He understood me (I'm sure of it) and he almost immediately stopped crying and instead looked at me and blinked his eyes and pointed at his eyes as I said, "Yes, you got water in your eyes." ....and then he smiled. Our communication was apparent. It was really kind of magical.