Separation Anxiety

In the last several weeks I have noticed that the Bear cub has become a little bit clingy. All last week when I'd leave home to go to work he would cry, even if Mike was holding him. When I dropped him off at daycare he was fine - I think because he gets distracted by all the pillows and playthings. When I'm at home with him, when I put him down, he'll cry more often than he used to and reach up for me to pick him up again. If I have to use the restroom I will set him in the hallway and sometimes he'll cry and I'll say, "Crawl to me, Stanley!" and he barely can do that, he's so upset. Once I pick him up, he's fine. Here is what they say at baby center dot com:

"Separation anxiety is a normal emotional stage of development that starts when babies begin to understand that things and people exist even when they're not present – something called "object permanence."

Two or three nights in a row last week he woke up at 1 a.m. which is strange because he's been sleeping through the night like gangbustas for the last several months. Two of those nights I'd get up and nothing would console him, only nursing. On the second night I ended up sleeping on the futon with him. That day I decided that that might be the beginning of bad sleep habits that we worked so hard on changing. So, when he woke up again on the third night at one in the morning I went in and didn't nurse him. I just picked him up and then put him back down. He cried. I was tired. I nursed him while sitting up. I put him back down. He cried. I went into my bedroom and said, flustered, "Mike, tell me what to do! I don't know what to do!" and so, he got up and went in to the crying Bear and almost instantaneously, SILENCE. All I could think, sitting on the edge of my bed, exhausted, was, "What the hell?!" Hahaha. Who knew, Mike had the magic touch. He came back to bed all grumpy like and we both fell back asleep. The next morning I asked him what he did. He said that he picked Stanley up and he stopped crying and then he gently but firmly said, "No Mama." and lay our little cherub down in his crib and he fell asleep. Mike then said to me, "I think he was playing you." Probably right. Ever since that night the Bear has slept through the night again. KNOCK ON WOOD.

I had written about it before in this post. But I looked up separation anxiety online to refresh my memory and thought it was interesting that it mentioned a night time aspect of it.

"Your baby can also experience separation anxiety at night, safely tucked in her crib with you in the next room."

Who knew?! We were thinking he was hungry or having nightmares but everything they write about in this little article fits him to a T. Stanley Bear, you are so predictable (once Mommy reads up on the matter!)

A Tooth

I was fishing around Stanley Bear's mouth, trying to fetch a piece of paper he stuck in there and behold! A tooth! So far he has 8 teeth plus this new one. I had no clue he was teething again. He has his top, front four and his bottom front four which I colored green in the illustration below.

I was surprised to feel this new tooth because it wasn't a canine..there's a big space between his lateral incisor and the new tooth. It's his first molar! I colored it pink in the illustration. This chart says that he should get it between 13-19 months (before the canine) which is on time for him since he's been ahead of the tooth eruption game all along. He despises having me stick my finger in his mouth (I am often doing that to pull a leaf, flower, shell, rock, stick or piece of paper out) and if my finger gets caught in between his front 8 teeth, hot tamale! it hurts. Those 8 baby teeth are sharper than a piranha's.

Anyways, it's always something. If he doesn't have a virus, he has pneumonia. If he doesn't have pneumonia, he has a rash. If he doesn't have a rash, he has a runny nose. If he doesn't have a runny nose he's teething. At least he's still happy as a clam most of the time.



Image from: http://www.wemakesmilesva.com/pediatric-dentistry/tooth-eruption.html

Due Date Anniversary

I dug up what I wrote on the blog on this date last year. This is what I posted:

Ha!

This day, last year, was my due date! Little did I know that the Bear wouldn't come until 8 days later. Little did I know that I'd have a long labor. Little did I know that we'd be transferred to the hospital. Little did I know that the baby would spend 48 hours in the NICU. Little did I know that I would feel disconnected from him. Little did I know. Little did I know.

Now I can say that he came at the right time, we labored for the appropriate number of days, we were lucky to have him in the hospital and monitored in the NICU and my disconnection from him made my connection to him stronger.  Now I can see he is the bee's knees and I love him so.

Pointing

Follow his point from the bottom left: Pointing at a magnolia, pointing at a puddle, pointing at a seagull, pointing at Christina.

Aki Bear's new form of communication is pointing. He points at EVERYTHING. Clouds, seagulls, sock monkeys, fiesta ware, lemons, calendars, windows, sunlight, Papa, Mama, kitty, magnolia trees, blueberries, Mum Mums. The point usually comes along with an utterance, like a, "uhh!"  I wonder if this pointing will stall his speech a little because he can get a lot across with a simple point and an uh!

Oncle Joseph

Our friend Joseph from grad school drove through Chapel Hill last weekend.  Oncle is French for Uncle. (Joseph has French roots.) The Bear took an IMMEDIATE liking to him. He was a huge help too. I was able to do dishes and clean the kitchen while Joseph held him, danced with him and talked to me and the Bear. It was nice. The Bear cub got sleepy too and I'm sure would have fallen asleep in his arms if I hadn't put him down in the crib first. Thanks Joseph! You're a natural! Watch them dance and wait for the sleepy smile at the end:



oncle joseph from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Sleep Pumping

This is me around 2 in the morning with my handy dandy  pumps.

I'm still at it. I pump twice a day now. Once at lunch (if Stanley's in daycare otherwise I go home to nurse him) and once in the middle of the night. I have to do this if I want to keep up the milk production. I wasn't pumping in the middle of the night (1 a.m.) in the beginning of Stanley Bear sleeping through the night, and the production went waaaayyyy down because before when he was up every 3 or so a night we'd nurse throughout the night. So I took brewer's yeast tablets and fenugreek capsules to help with the production (they totally work!) and I started pumping at one in the morning. That is reallllly hard to do. I try to be as close to sleep as possible when I do it. Some nights I keep my eyes closed, don't turn on any lights, flip open the lap top just for the light that it emits (but don't actually use the computer/internets). A couple of nights last week I just hit my snooze button and skipped the late night pumping session and let me tell you, what a difference in my day when I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night. I am a lot more energetic. I think I will let myself skip a night at least once a week. Stan Bear is still sleeping through the night. From about 7 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. on average. (I wish he would sleep until 6 or 7 but I shouldn't complain!)

I was talking to Mike about what to do when comes the time to wean the Bear from the breast. I have no idea when this will be. My goal was to breastfeed for a year and a year is almost here! So, after a year, what do we do? I will talk to our pediatrician about alternatives. I would rather stick with breastmilk over cow's milk or soy milk formulas. I basically want to know at what age can a child stop drinking breastmilk or formula. When can they just drink cow's milk, rice milk or almond milk as their primary or secondary source of liquid. The Bear loves water, he gulps it down but I think he will need something to help keep his bones strong. Both Mike and I drank a lot of cow's milk growing up but I read the book "The China Study" and that scared me from touching cow's milk, especially for my little guy. So, we'll see what the pediatrician says and then go from there.

I'm Gonna Get You!

This is one of Aki Bear's favorite things to do:


get you from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Mama's Saliva Makes You Stronger

Here he is eating a sand covered shell.

They say that first time parents are usually more careful about germs...dropped pacifier means washing it immediately under hot water before giving it back to baby. Mike and I are different. I don't know if it's because we're older first-timers or if we live the "germs will make you stronger" philosophy - maybe it's both - or maybe we're just lazy...if that's so then I blame it(the laziness) on us being older...we're tired and can't waste energy walking to the sink (ha!) We've always given the paci right back to Stan Bear(unless there was a dust bunny attached to it - in that case I'd pull off the dust bunny, stick the pacifier in my mouth to rid it of any residual bunny dust and then hand it back to him.) We're that way with dropped spoons, bottles, food and toys. So far he's still alive and well...of course he's been sick and had ear infections and most recently, pneumonia, but hopefully he's just building up a strong immune system. And looky here an article that supports the sucking of your child's pacifier to clean it it apparently helps with allergies and immunity. No big surprise here - but I like that they did a study on it.

The Atlantic, THE ATLANTIC!!!

Mike and Aki Bear are the ones closest to the center of the frame.

I am in love with the Atlantic Ocean. It has charmed me with it's warmth, blue-green translucency, shells and swells and little crabs. It is tops in my book and this is coming from a California Girl.

We took a trip on Father's Day weekend to Wilmington which is about 3 hours away from us. It was like pulling teeth to plan it but once we got there the misery of planning it got washed away in the foamy shore. We went to Wrightsville Beach and it was lovely. I had been there before with two girlfriends but Mike and Stanley had never been. Mike bodysurfed the days away and carried the Bear into waist deep ocean, which got the Mama Bear in me to growl out loud at Papa Bear because I didn't want Baby Bear to accidentally slip from Papa's grip and get washed out to sea.

As much as Stan Bear loves bath time and the swimming pool he seems to have a healthy fear of the ocean. He wouldn't let me put him on the sand near the shore initially. He eventually did as long as I sat down right next to him. His favorite part was on the second day the beach we were at had a little inlet that the waves would gently trickle into and all of the kids on the beach seemed to love it. Stanley crawled in and up and over the little sand hill and back down and across the little inlet. He would do that over and over again. He also liked the black headed seagulls and the clouds. He points at everything now. Have a peek into our beach holiday:


sea play from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Worst Thing in the World Part V

He' probably 3 or 4 days old here.

When Stanley was born he scored a 9 out of 10 on both of his APGAR tests. When he was finally handed to me I tried to nurse him but he didn't seem that into it. He also was breathing funny. Maybe every 20 seconds he would make this adorable breathing sound...but it was concerning enough to bring it to the nurses attention. When I told her that he was breathing funny she took him and listened to his lungs and heart and then called the Pedes team back up. Apparently he turned blue. They put an oxygen mask on his face and his dusky spell was slowly resolved with "vigorous stimulation." Because of that he spent his first 48 hours in the NICU for observation. Nothing strange was ever found. They think he just had some fluid down the wrong pipe.

Our second actual day home with him the midwife came to visit. She checked on me and Stanley. She even watched me nurse. While I was nursing him she and Mike and I were talking and I looked down and Stanley was blue. I panicked. I think I said, "HE'S BLUE! HE'S BLUE!" and the midwife said in the most calm voice, "Just hold him up and pat his back." I was terrified. I did what the midwife told me and his peachy pink color came back to him rather quickly. She then said calmly, "They say that babies' noses are designed to take in breath when they are nursing with their faces pushed up against the mom's soft breast, but I never believed it." Basically, she thought that he couldn't breath due to breast obstruction. Ever since that day I made sure that I pressed one finger down on my breast right where his nose was so that he could breathe without any obstruction and we've never had an issue since. That is something I never want to see again. Something that I hope no parent should have to see because it was eerie (looking back) and I went into full on panic mode.

A Rash

 

The Bear conquered stinkin' pneumonia. The day after his fever broke I noticed a rash of some sort on his forehead and nape of his neck. The day after that it was all over his back and chest and on the sides of his face. OY. I found an informative site on infant rashes with the yucky pictures to boot and it mostly looked and sounded like it was Roseola. Roseola is caused by a virus (the Dr. said he had adenovirus yet the link on Roseola says that it comes about from two viruses and adenovirus is not one of them, so maybe he didn't have adenovirus? or maybe he didn't have Roseola? I don't know.) The symptoms of Roseola are:

• High fever for 2-3 days (check!)
• Rapid increase in temperature (check!)
• After fever ends a rosy-pink rash appears on trunk (check!), neck (check!) and arms. The rash is not itchy (check!) and may last 1-2 days (check!)
• In rare cases a sore throat, stomach ache, vomiting (check!) and diarrhea (check!) occur. 
• Child may be irritable (check!)
• May have decreased appetite (check!)

So, sounds like it...
And looks like it:

But still fairly smiley (when not irritable) and adorable through it all: 

A Master's in Magnolia Trees

On our walks the Bear points at Magnolia trees and kicks his legs in excitement. He points Magnolias out to me that I didn't even realize were there. He points at them from afar and nearby. He points at the big ones, the little ones, the flowering ones, the un-flowering ones. It's really amazing. He can identify the Magnolia tree, there's no doubt about it.

At first I thought he identified them by their big, white flowers but then one day he pointed at one with no flowers. I did a double take and said, "Yes, that's a Magnolia tree! Very good. Can you say MAG-NOH-LEE-AAAH?" hahaha. I think he knows that some have white flowers, some don't. He knows that they have shiny leaves. I even think he knows that inside of the flower is the spiny receptacle that holds the stamens; he tries to eat them when he can grab hold of a branch.

 

I'm truly amazed how he can identify them. It's so cool...I have no better description than that, it's just so cool. Little humans are so cool and amazing. He's like a little arborist.

Here he is with one of his favorite trees.

The Atlantic

We went to Wrightsville Beach in Wilmington for the Father's Day weekend. I have tons of pics and vids that I will share. Here's a few for now:

Puddle Hunting

Here is one of the puddles that I beautified with flowers. Meanwhile Stanley Bear is pointing at another puddle. Really, he really was!

It rained cats and dogs last weekend (Tropical Storm Andrea floated on through our neck of the woods.) When the sun finally came out we went for a walk (and his fever broke that day too!) We didn't know it at first, but we finally realized that we were puddle hunting. Below are two puddles that we placed wildflowers in:

Here is a long, muddy one where we floated some colorful spring leaves in:

No puddle was too big or too medium...

There was no such thing as too many puddles at once; the more the merrier...

There was also no puddle too small...

We didn't discriminate, we loved them all!

Happy Father's Day!

Stan Bear loooooooves his Pa. He will chase him down the hallway and into the bathroom. He will pull himself up on the bed if Pops is still in there and then slap the top of the bed as if to say, "Wake up! I love you!" He watches intently as he plays any instrument and then joins along. He loves riding high atop his Pa's shoulders (I bet someday he'll be just as tall).

It's fun to listen to Mike talk to him in his Cartman/Ladies Man voice saying things to Stan Bear like, "Are you slappin' mah head?!" and "I'm gonna eat you up!" Happy Father's Day to you, Mike! You are an amazing Dad. And Happy Father's Day to my sweet Dad and wonderful Father-in-Law! I love you both! Fatherhood has brought out a whole new side to Papa Bear, have a look:

A Leg Up

I went to wash his cup and when I was done I turned around and he was sitting like this. This is also the day that his fever broke. Feeling much better, I'd say!

Nebulize It

Thank goodness we don't have to use the nebulizer anymore. He fought it less than half the time but it still was no fun for anyone. I would try explaining to him that it was to make him feel better. We had to do it 4 times a day for 7 days. I started doing it only 3 times a day after his fever broke and all seemed swell. Basically what it does is administer albuterol in a mist form into the lungs to loosen the mucus that has built up in there which was causing the pneumonia and let the wee one breath more easily. 

When we weren't using it he loved to play with the mask and tubing.

He kept wanting to bite the tubing but since we don't own that machine Mike brought home some tubing that he had lying around (whaddyaknow?!) and it is one of his new favorite things to slap around:

This is the tubing that Mike brought home.

Climbing

Stan Bear has does this new thing where he just wants to climb over things (and me if I'm on the ground) back and forth, over and over again. It's quite entertaining. He gets a little crazy sometimes and sort of dives over things which you can see at around minute 1:05 in the video.

The Toilet Paper Picture

Every baby has a picture where they've discovered the toilet paper roll, right? Plus he loves eating paper. I'm constantly fetching paper out of his sharp-tooth-trap. Is paper-eating a boy thing? I remember boys in elementary school eating paper and dried glue. Do any little girls you know enjoy eating paper (and glue)? Just wondering.

Plant Samples

Whenever we go for walks Mr. Bear picks leaves or flowers from the side of the road and usually hangs onto them for the duration of the walk. They get crumpled and the flower petals will even turn brown. I keep thinking that I should document these samples at the end of each walk and photograph them in a scientific manner. Maybe I'll do that. Sometimes he'll drop them, usually on purpose, and keep his eye on it as we walk away. He's in that throw-everything-on-the-ground-stage...SO FUN. (That was sarcastic.) Here he is picking a sample of horsetail:

Long Shadows O'Clock

This is what your shadow looks like at 6:30ish in the morning in early June in the Northern hemisphere. We usually do our morning walks around 7:30 but this day we went earlier and I must say what a dramatic change there is in the light. It's gorgeous at 6:30 a.m. The golden hour.

Me with long legs (for once!) and the Bear in his wagon.

He is always more awake than I am. Always.

Captain Smiley.

Dancing and Feeling Much Better

Yesterday the Bear woke up with no fever! He was feverless all day - take THAT, pneumonia! He was in much better spirits. He was still tired, not 100% yet, but much better. He even danced. My favorite part is when he sees that I'm about to play some music and he crawls quickly toward the stereo system to wait for the music to come on; he loves his music! The music we played is a disc my brother sent called Putamayo Kids...thanks Sean!

Contagious Yawns

I probably yawned after I took this picture. Stanley had a fever last night but ate more yesterday evening and then threw up 2.5 hours later. The rain subsided in the evening so we walked around the block and got some fresh air. He talked almost the entire way and we got to see the Dahlia in bloom! We slept in to 6:17 a.m.! and he is fever free and currently going through a stack of Mike's magazines! I think we're on the road to recovery.

Crawling Pneumonia

Here he is playing with the curtains yesterday morning, fever and all.

Our little cub has Walking Pneumonia...or as the Doctor said, "In his case, Crawling Pneumonia." and then I said, "or Cruising Pneumonia." When she first checked on his breathing she said that he had "adenovirus" which is a virus that can infect the tissue linings in all sorts of things like the respiratory tract, eyes, intestines and urinary tract. It can cause diarrhea too which he kinda has. Poor monkey. He's had a cough since Sunday and then got the fever on Wednesday at midnight. I took him to the doctor on Wednesday and when she listened to his wheezy lungs and then did a nebulizer and listened again she said that he has a small patch of pneumonia in his right lung. So, we're trying to get on that beast early and kick it out of his little body. He's been fairly chipper through it all; he's a strong boy. The Doc said that she usually sees a spike in adenoviruses just after Memorial Day because the weather usually gets nicer and kids start going to the pool! That's exactly what we've been doing. So, the culprit is the YMCA pool! Anyways. Send us good healing vibes so we can get the cub growling again. He had a sleepy day with his Pa yesterday and he'll be home again with Mike in the earlier part of the day today and I'll take over around one in the afternoon. I will keep you abreast of his health.

Brunch Buds

We had brunch with Suganya, Bobby and Kavi last weekend at Geer Street Garden in Durham. It was a breakfast buffet and it was divine. We ate outside on these wooden picnic tables and Stan Bear and Kavi enjoyed in all of the food as well from their little high chairs. I love being able to put him in a high chair when we go out to eat. It's way easier than trying to put the carseat somewhere (when he wasn't able to sit up yet.)

Kavi gave her shades to Stan Bear because they matched his shirt perfectly! Thank you for the shades, even though he just eats them.

This is my favorite picture because of Bobby's face. Stan really loves this delightful family! Kavi is one already! I can't believe how fast time is whizzing by.

 

Stopping to Smell the Roses

Here he is, leg up (this is his new chill position he does while wagoning), touching the weird spruce.

Whether he is playing in the front room or his crib, whether we are on a walk, in the pool or at a restaurant I really enjoy putting myself in Stan Bear's onesie and experiencing everything around me as if it were brand new. Being responsible for a small human helps a big human, like me, appreciate the little things...the things that I may have taken for granted or walked right by before.

We've lived in our sweet neighborhood for about 6 years now. I have walked, biked and run around these hilly blocks hundreds of times. It hasn't been until this past year that I've noticed the amazing woodpecker's nest that has been carved out of a hollow tree branch - and you could hear the baby woodpeckers in there in the earlier part of spring! I have crouched down to the grass at seven in the morning, with my butt sticking up in the air, to look at all of the miniscule dewdrops on each green blade. I look at puddles with wonder and pull grass or little leaves and drop them into the puddle to watch them float - I even stomp in puddles and watch the water move. I stop and look up through the tree branches and watch how the wind moves the leaves - I love that sound. When I hear the red Cardinal go, "Cheeerp, cheeerp, cheeerp!" I stop and look for it - they are usually easy to spot - the only brilliant red in a canopy of green. I watch the bevies of deer as they stare back at me. I look at flowering and unflowering weeds and touch them. I pick dandelion flowers, the fluffy ones with seeds, and I blow them and watch the seeds float away; sometimes I just touch the white globes to see what they feel like. I walk up to trees: Black Jack Oaks, Loblolly Pines (I love that name), Sweet Gums and Red Buds and touch their bark. I look at the spider webs that have been woven in between the crevices of the bark. I observe the cycles of magnolia flowers from strong buds to gorgeous, hearty flowers to prickly receptacles. I stop and listen to the wind and then I run because rain is coming. If I'm not fast enough, I stop running, I put my arms out and feel what this wet stuff feels like dropping from the sky and onto my open palms. I watch cats with joy and love when they drop down and roll on their backs showing off their soft underbellies. I watch dogs and don't mind when their wet noses touch my face or legs. I see my neighbors, who I've walked by countless times with a simple wave or spoken hello, but now I either know their names or their dogs' names...they all know Stanley's name. "Hi Stanley!" or one neighbor says, "Stan Bear! How are you!?" I now know Laura and her poodle Windsor who jumps gracefully when she is excited. I know the white cat, Smoot, with one green eye and one blue eye and his owner who also has white hair. I know Andy on the corner and his next door neighbor with the front yard full of wildflowers - we always stop and chat about what's blooming. We wave at the young family who seem to always be in their yard playing or gardening. We know the little girl, Malia, who lives on the corner and the little boy Sergio who lives around the corner. We know Tim and Eric and their Beagle, Norman. We know Mango the cat, who lives next door with his family of two adults and two kids - they also have chickens! We know the little boy Archie across the street and his two big Akitas, one whose name is Ziggy. We know Tom. We know Chris and Denise and their black and tan Cocker Spaniel, Simba. We know Leslie. We know Rose the Golden Retriever. We know Juliette and George and their two big dogs Coach (I love that name!) and Gattaca. All along I talk to Stan Bear about what I see. I try pointing things out to him and explaining to him what I see; if I notice him looking at something I try to talk to him about it. It's amazing what one little person can do. He helps make a tighter community. He has taught me to stop and smell the roses. He has taught me to be excited about the little things, to enjoy the animals more, to be in awe of the rain, to stomp in a puddle and to love thy neighbor. Whether Stan Bear knows it or not, he has been a great teacher in slowing down, observation, understanding and appreciation.

Into Everything

He's getting into the cupboards. He loves pulling everything out. He likes this cupboard with the canned goods and he likes our Tupperware cupboard too. We bought a safety gate for the kitchen but don't always have it up. I bought cupboard safety latches but haven't installed them yet. So, until then....

Peek-A-Boo

Stanley loves playing peek-a-boo. We play it at least once a day. He usually goes bananas. I got a video of him although I think he's somewhere in between laughing and losing it (probably too close to nap time.) But it's still pretty cute.

Last Swim Class

This video was from our last swim class. He absolutely loves the water. At home he'll crawl to the bathroom, pull himself up on the tub and look in. I'm sure if he could lift himself up and over and into the tub he'd do that (soon enough). Friday evening he was wearing a diaper and a t-shirt and I told him that we were going to take a bath but we had to take his shirt off first. I helped him out of one sleeve but he pushed the rest of the shirt up and off himself! It was hilarious. He really wanted to get in that water!

The Museum

Here he is in the giant chair.

I bought a membership to the Museum of Life and Science in Durham as recommended to me by several people. It's such a great place that will grow with the Bear. It's got animals which he loves now. It's got an infant play room, it's got other play rooms for older kids that he will someday understand and partake in. It's got a butterfly house with a pineapple growing in there! I was impressed with the pineapple.

Here he is not looking at the duck who is not looking at him.

This museum is like the Discovery Museum in San José or the Exploratorium in San Francisco. It's a place that I can have fun at too.

Stanley took this of me sitting on the big chair. Just kidding. Christina took it.

Here he is trying to pet the turtle.

We've gone about 3 times now. It's a great way to break up the day and he loves it. There are also these things to bang on outside, like cymbals made of pipes and dustpans, actual steel drums. He loves making noise.

Here is one of the four Alpacas.

Here he is in the infant room. He knows how to climb stairs now. We need to find ourselves long stairwell as he has only climbed our stoop and this little play structure.

This is a sleeping beaver. Hahha. I don't think Stan Bear saw it but I thought he was funny slumbering right there for all to see.