First Week At Work

Sweet Aki Bear has had several nights where he is up every 2 hours to feed (growth spurt?) Sunday night wasn't different. I was hoping he'd get a better nights sleep before my first day back at work. Here is my little back to work diary for the week:

October 1, 2012 - Today is my first day back to work.

6 AM: I finish his feed and put him back down, I take a shower.
6:15 AM: I make breakfast and eat it in the dark living room, suns not quite up!
6:30 AM: Get the breast pump and my lunch all packed and ready to go.
6:45 AM: Lie back down in bed for a brief snooze.
7:30 AM: Feed the little guy one more time.
7:45 AM: The whole family gets up. Mike puts his daddy duty outfit on (slippers and boxers and a tshirt.) We hang out in bed and talk. Then we go look at his Gobbi Mobile. Mike makes a pot of coffee.
8:07 AM: I drive to work. I start to cry two times and tell myself to get it together.
8:23 AM: Arrive at work. Do the regular stuff...catch up on 3 months of emails and voicemails.
10 AM: Pump milk.
10:30 AM: Mike calls. Aki Bear barely drank an ounce of milk. Cried. Slept for only 30 minutes. Mike calls while they are on a walk around the block and apparently it starts pouring rain on them.
I go on about my workday while thinking of them constantly.
1:00 PM: Pump milk.
1:46 PM: No calls from Mike, I assume all is well.
2:58 PM: Mike calls. The Bear isn't really eating. Slept almost an hour. When Mike puts the bottle in his mouth he won't close his mouth around the nipple. He'll just see the bottle and start to cry. :(
I tell Mike that I will stop in on my way to Town Hall (I go there everyday and home is on the way!)
3:34 PM: I see Mike and the little one sitting on the front steps. No one is crying. Yay! Mike is really calm. Yay! We go to the bedroom and once we put the little guy down he starts crying. And then he stops because...boobs! Hurrah! I am crying, of course. I apologize to him and tell him that he needs to not be afraid of the bottle. I tell Mike that I'm sorry. He is surprisingly calm and cool. He's not a bundle of nerves. I ask him if he is tired. He says that he's emotionally tired but physically fine. He tells me that when I'm done to hand him over to him so I can go back to work. I do just that.
3:52 PM: Go back to work.
5:12 PM: Back home and the wee one is sleeping. Mike said he fell asleep a quarter to 5.

Mike goes to school to prep for class. I stay home and when he wakes up we hang out and it breaks my heart because he does this thing where it seems like he is trying to tell me something with his voice but he's crying it. He's not full on crying but talk-crying. It's as if he is saying, "Where were you Mama?!" or "I don't like the bottle!" Mike said that he did the same thing towards the end of the day with him as well. Heart. Shattering.

What Mike learned:
Aki Bear doesn't love the bottle right now.  If it looks like it might rain, bring an umbrella on a walk. When the boy wakes up hang out with him a bit and then heat up the bottle rather than heating up the bottle and letting the boy cry in his crib (We'll see if this helps.)

What I learned:
You have to let go and let Mike and Aki Bear get to know each other. Each parent has a different parenting style, and that's fine. I'm still emotional.

October 2, 2012 - I stay home with the bear. Business as usual.

October 3, 2012 - I go to work from 8-12.

12 PM: I am off work and Mike hasn't called me all morning. I assume all has gone well.
12:13 PM: I get home and Mike seems stressed. I think because the plumber was there and a colleague of his from work called while on daddy duty. Multi-tasking is tough for Papa Bear.
Other than that Aki Burrito took the bottle, if not a little sloppily and only 2 ounces or so.

I don't know if we learned anything new that day. I called the lactation consultant at the Birth Center for some bottle feeding advice and she called back in the afternoon and we talked. I will share her words of advice later.

October 4, 2012 - I stay home with the bear. He gets two vaccinations in the morning and cries for a second and then feels fine. He's a tough cookie. I buy a red rocking chair from Craigslist that evening. It's lovely. It's currently in our bedroom half in the closet. HA. But it is rockable there. Someday we'll have enough space to put it in a more regular spot...just need to get hoarder Mike to de-hoard.

October 5, 2012 - I go to work today; another full day!

7:45 AM: Aki Bear wakes up after a wonderful nights sleep (He had a six and a quarter hour sleep stint in there! Hallelujah!) We feed for 10 minutes.
8 AM: I hand him off to Daddy and get ready for work.
8:15 AM: I'm out the door. I don't cry on my way to work this time.
10 AM: Mike calls and says that the boy wouldn't take the bottle. One of the ideas that the lactation consultant gave was to get the bottle to him while he's still sleepy. Which is hard to do because you don't know when he's going to wake up and it can take 4 minutes to heat the bottle. Aki Bear didn't like this. He cried. Wailed. I told Mike that I couldn't come home until after 1pm because my coworker wouldn't be back until then.
12 PM: Mike calls again and says that he got him to sleep in the bouncy chair and then he woke up and finally drank 3 ounces of vintage white (that's what we're calling the pumped milk.) Hip hip hurray! Progress, I say.We talk about me coming home for the third feeding.
3 PM: Mike calls. The baby woke up and immediately started crying at the sight of the bottle. Wouldn't take it. Mike said he tried the swing, the bouncy chair, the mobile. He took him outside in the carseat/stroller and that is the only thing that is calming him down. We've decided that I shouldn't go home and feed him, for one thing I had JUST finished pumping, so not much to offer and secondly he needs to learn to take the bottle. It's so heartbreaking for me, frustrating for Mike and I'm sure the little burrito is miserable and hungry. Please little one! Eat! Mommy has not left you forever, just for three feedings today, I'll be home in two hours! If only he knew.
5 PM: I rush home, safely.
5:12 PM: They are hanging out in his crib, yo. Mike says he just woke up and that he's hungry. The good news is that after they went for a stroll at 3 PM he guzzled down 4 oz. of milk! HURRAH! Misery leads to success! Me and the Bear lie down for some comfort food...20 minutes of nursing commences.

What Mike learned:
He said he's fine tuning his strategies. He's getting to know the signs and signals of the little one. He keeps him sitting upright while feeding and slightly tugs at the bottle while he feeds so that Aki Bear will continue to suck.

What I learned: 
To tough it out. Not to rush home at the drop of the hat. Mike and the boy have got to figure it out for themselves.

Friday was much better than Monday. Aki Bear did not do his crying/talking thing, thank goodness, because that was just too much for me. Hopefully next week gets better. Wish us all luck and keep us in your thoughts: Imagine a happy boy drinking from a bottle. Thanks.