Applause!

This happened right before breakfast one morning. It was a great way to start the day. Mike played the thumb piano for the Bear as he listened. Watch:
thumb piano love from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Food and the Grumpy Face

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!

This, my friends, is The Grumpy Face...well...kinda. I am on the hunt, a photo hunt, for the true grumpy face.

This is about 2 weeks old now. He is beginning to use it appropriately. I think, at first, he was using it because he just discovered that he could manipulate his facial expressions and therefore practiced doing it often (just like when he learned how to walk). That is hummus on his face. The whole food thing continues to perplex me (as does the whole sleep thing.) On this night he would not eat the soup that he so hungrily gulped down the night before - he kept pointing at the dried fruit. I thought, he needs to eat something, so I gave him some dried apricots...but then decided he needed something more substantial and toasted a piece of bread. Then I thought he needed protein so I spread some hummus (that's full of protein, right?) on the toasted bread. Of course he saw this and then wanted to do it himself. So, I handed him the butter knife, but then he wanted to scoop out of the hummus container and I was like, no way, José,  and so I tried to put some hummus on his plate so he could take from there and HE was like, no way, José. Guess who won this battle? YEP.

How can you resist that face? So, he ate the entire tub of hummus by scooping it out with the butter knife and putting it straight into his mouth. It was very Rambo-y or Crocodile Dundee-y. At least he ate something other than dried fruit for dinner, right?

I just wanted to post a great link that I read (and two more articles that that article linked to) in regards to yesterday's post Losing My Parental Cool. It's from Janet Lansbury's blog (one of my favorite parenting blogs. She wrote the article that I read about what to do when your child bites you.) I love her philosophy (a majority of the time). She is a great guide to have when I really feel lost in this parenting challenge. She writes:

"Our children are born sentient — as present as you and I — and so our primary job is forging person-to-person relationships with them, relationships that are honest, caring, respectful and unconditionally loving.

Yet all children exhibit behaviors that are impulsive and irrational, especially during periods in their development when they need to resist us in order to test their wings (like the toddler and teen years). How are we supposed to respect our small “person” when she can be so disrespectful, hurtful and downright rude?"

Read more here on how to manage this type of behaviour.

Losing My Parental Cool

I lost it the other night. I got so mad. This is how our evening began:

I pick Stan Bear up from daycare when we get home I hold him up so that he can open the mailbox and retrieve the mail and then shut the mailbox. Then he carries the mail into the house without dropping a single piece! Hurrah! Once we get inside he signs for milk. So, I breastfeed him. Then I ask him if he wants food (he is now able to make the sign for food) and he points to the kitchen. So we go in there and I heat up some food, it's leftover one-pot pasta and roasted cod which he devoured the night before. Once it's warmed I sit him in his booster and give him his bowl. He immediately turns the bowl over and then starts "finger painting" with his food.

UGGHH. 

Deep breath in. Exhale. 

So then I take him out of his chair and I clean up the food that is on the floor. He keeps himself occupied and then he sees some sweet potatoes in the fridge. I ask him if he wants them and he points at them. So, I heat them up and sit him in his chair and give him a plate of sweet potatoes. The plate ends up flying off the table, sweet potatoes everywhere.

UGGHH. 

Deep breath in. Exhale. 

I take him out of his chair and ask him to help me put the sweet potatoes back on the plate. He helps me do that, happily. I throw them all away. I put him outside of the kitchen. He looks at me and makes the more sign...which he also uses when he wants food. I ask him if he wants more sweet potatoes and he points at his chair. So, I heat up more sweet potatoes. He does it again.

UGGHH. 

Deep breath in. Exhale. 

He helps me clean up. We leave the kitchen when we are done and I run him a bath. He happily takes a bath. When he is done I get him ready for bed, dry diaper, jammies and in the room to read a book. We read a couple of books and then he wants to nurse. I nurse and then he gets up and makes the symbol for food. 

UGGHH. 

Deep breath in. Exhale. 

But I think, he didn't really eat anything and maybe he really is hungry.  So I make some mac and cheese with greek yogurt (it's so good). Mike is now home. So, he plays with Papa for a bit while I am making this. When it's ready I sit him in his chair and give him a bowl. He flips the bowl upside down. 

UGGHH. 

I was frustrated. I said, I give up. I lift him out of his chair and put him out of the kitchen. He's not happy. I said the F word and a sentence like, I've made you three f!@#$ dinners! I'm done. I give up. You're going to bed. I lost it. I was so mad. I think Mike was scared. I tried to calm down as I nursed him. I put him in his crib with no pacifier. He cried. I decided to let him cry it out...because I was still so peeved. He cried for almost 10 minutes and he finally fell asleep. I was still mad but I knew it wasn't him that I should be mad at. He's just a toddler, not even two. And so I got mad at myself for losing my cool. 

As I lay down to bed I had a conversation with him (in my conversation he could magically talk, or I could magically understand him.) This is how it went:

Me: Why won't you eat your food?
Bear: I'm not hungry, Ma.
M: Then why do you keep signing the word "food"?
B: Because I just learned how and it's fun to practice all the new things I am learning.
M: Then why don't you just hand me your bowl or plate instead of dumping it on the ground?
B: Because, Ma, have you tried it? It feels so good between my fingers and I like what it feels like when I smear it on the table and I love watching things fly across the room.
M: It just causes more of a mess, you know.
B: Yeah, but you should feel how it feels.
M: O.K. I understand that but it takes time and effort to make the food and heat it up. 
B: Oh, I didn't think about that.
M: Also I don't think that you should play with your food. If you want to throw something we can throw the ball or toss rocks into the creek. 
B: Alright. Well, I don't like it when you yell.
M: I know. I was frustrated. I apologize for yelling. I will try to be more understanding. 
B: O.K. Ma. I'm sorry for playing with my food but I can't promise you that I won't do it again.
M: Thanks, and I know.

That "conversation" made me feel so much better. I think I'll be able to handle future mealtime flubs more gracefully.

On another note, he woke up once for just a couple of minutes (I didn't even go in to check on him) and then slept all the way until 6 am. He usually wakes up at 4:30 and I go in and nurse him and we sleep until 7:30 am. I will take a 6 am wake up with nursing and up for the day at 6:30 am over waking up in the middle of the night to nurse and then at 4:30 am to nurse. I think it's because he didn't have the pacifier. But, really, what do I know. Sleep and food have never been more perplexing in my life.

Cooking

Stan Bear loves to watch me and Mike cook. Here he is looking in the oven as a quiche is baking:

He definitely gets the term "Hot", thankfully. Here he is pointing in the oven:

When I have something on the stove top he wants to help me stir it. I do let him although he is getting good at getting food ON the spoon and flinging it everywhere, so that doesn't happen so much anymore. I'll stick him in our hiking backpack and he will watch me chop, stir, sauté, boil and mince.

A Room of His Own

Here he is sauteeing some garlic on his stove.

I should have taken a before picture...I'll just describe it instead. Before the Bear's room was his room, it was the office/guest room. There was the futon, a huge shelf filled with yarn and fabric and sketchbooks, a long table with our very large printer on it plus books, a bookshelf pushed up against that table filled with books and some baby clothes and blankets, a desk with more books and crafts and the computer. And then when the Bear came along we put his crib in there with one end against the yarnshelf (he enjoyed pulling skein after skein down from there, oh joy!) It was a jam-packed room that never truly was his. Here are some before/after floor plans that I made:
We slowly started to move things out. I finally decided something had to be done. This room couldn't be this way forever. Our boy needs a room of his own!!! So, I took a day off, a day that he was in daycare. This was amazing...for one, I think it's the first full day where I didn't have to work or take care of him, I could do whatever I pleased. I mostly got his room in order but I did take an uninterrupted bath with Dr. Singha's mustard bath powder thrown in. Love that stuff.

Here he is steaming some dumplings on his stove.

I took everything out of his room except for his crib and the futon and the little bookshelf. I moved the futon to the wall with the door on it. His crib moved to the foot of the futon. I moved in the rocking chair which has been living at the foot of Mike and my bed. I moved in the play kitchen on loan from Kavi (who is moving to Kenya with her parents for a couple of years.) I put the shelf on the wall with the play kitchen and filled it with his books and stuffed animals and some toys. I hung a star light too and some art and bought a rug.

I bought this paper star lantern at a local shop and whenever we go in there he points at all of these lanterns. So, I got him this one. When it is off he points at it and I turn it on. He loves it!

I would love to paint the walls. But first I'd like to hang more art, get some actual curtains(it's just fabric tacked over the window) and recover the cushion on the rocking chair and make a fun duvet cover for the futon. It's the best room in the house. (The cleanest anyway :) ) Stan Bear loves the kitchen (thank you K, S and B!!!) and he has gotten used to the crib and futon placement. (We end up on the futon in the morning - he usually wakes up around 4:30, so I go in and nurse him and we fall back asleep on the futon until 7 or 7:30. ) Here he is cooking me some spaghetti with meatballs:

The Love of the Outdoors

He's his happiest when he's outdoors. Luckily we live in a great neighborhood where there is much to explore.

In the video below you'll see him walking across a little bridge which is in Andy and Nina's side yard. He usually is so fearless but Mike said he noticed the slits in the wood and became trepidatious. Then you will see him shouting in a stormwater pipe and then proceeding to climb on it. Then you will see him walking through the leaves down the street!



outdoors from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Auntie C and Dickie the Cat

Stan Bear's favorite cat is Dickie (duh) and one of his favorite people is Auntie Christina, or as I call her, Auntie C. (I also call her Coach as she was my running partner at one point and she was my motivator, my Coach.)

I will say to Stan B, "We're going to see Auntie C." and no matter where we are he will stop and look around as if she is nearby. He hasn't mastered the future tense yet. When he does see her, if he is sitting in his car seat he will smile and point at her. If he is walking and he sees her he'll run to her with arms reaching out and give her a big hug. It's adorable. I need to get that on "tape" one of these days. Here's an oldy:

Stan B is about 14 weeks old here and Auntie C is a gazillion weeks old...

And a blurry everyone but rare, still Stan Bear shot:

He loves Dickie the Cat but still doesn't quite know how to be gentle with her at times. He is learning...or shall I say, we are teaching him how to reign in his love. His hugs can be dead weight hugs. See here:


catattack from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Sassafrass Fork Farm

The first weekend in November we went to our friend Roxanne's family's farm. Roxanne is one of the Mama's from our Birthing Class and one of the ones who I hiked with after our boys were born. She and my labors were very similar. Anyways. She invited us plus the two other couples that we have kept in touch with from our class plus another couple with a boy about a month younger than Stan Bear. It was AMAZING. Stan Bear sat on a tractor:

And rode on a tractor:

Here he is sitting with Tate, Roxanne's husband.

He played with three dogs. Here's one of them:

 He fed sheep:

He petted the sheep:

There's Roxanne's son to the right of the frame.

 He petted the cows too:

 He played with his first friends:

Clockwise starting with Stan Bear, Tavner, Sebastian, and Zak...all birth center planned babies (Seb and Zak were born in the water, Stan and Tav were born at the hospital.)

Here are the boys with their Papas:

 He collected eggs from the chicken coop (and he only broke one...because he threw it, haha!):

Oh, and he WALKED with gazillions of chickens:

He had a great time. WE ALL had a great time. As we were driving away I said, "I want to be a farmer." I just felt so free, at ease and happy being out there in the open air. It was nice. Here's the action:


sassafrass fork farm from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

BONUS: look at these three boys at around 4 months and now over a year:

At 4 months: Stan  Bear, Zak and Tavner.

 And in the same order at 16ish months:

Words and Signs

 

Here he is trying to put on Papa's hat and probably trying to say the word "hat".

Words he can say or kinda say:

BALL : mostly pronounced: Bahh(l)

PAPA : mostly pronounced: BAba!

MAMA : Mama!

KITTY : ts ts ts

CHICKEN : ts 

TRUCK : CHUHH!

SHOE : Shhh

DUCK : djuh

DOG : djah

MEOW : sometimes with coaching: YOW!

WOOF : voof voof

CHOO CHOO : chuhchuh!

HORSE SOUND : "shakes head back and forth" 

YUM : mmmmmmmmm

HOT : hah hah hah (breathy)

HAT : hah

BYE-BYE : Ba-bye (he said this to Jane for the first time on Sunday!)

Signs he can make:

MILK

DIAPER (this is a new one!)

MORE

HELP (although he uses the sign for more for help, but I understand what he's saying under the circumstances we are in at the time)

ALL DONE

HOT

Directions he will take or sentences he will appropriately respond to:

Put the truck(or other item) on the shelf.

Put the ball(or other item) in the bucket.

 Give me your plate/bowl.

Let's find cowstar.

Pick out a book to read.

Where's your pacifier?

Bring me my shoes.

Bring me your shoes.

Where is your nose?

Where is my nose?

Put this on my nose.

Put this on your nose.

Do you want to go outside?

Let's look for rocks.

Gosh, there are probably way more of these as he understands way more than he speaks at this point. This is a fun stage.

He is constantly "talking", it's really cute. Here is a clip of him and his talking...I love his intonations...it really sounds like he is saying actual words...he's saying something, I just don't know what it is (I could guess...) Use a soft focus as the room is a disaster:

jibberjabber from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Here he is saying hat (haah):

Autumn = Leaf Piles

Walking the creek near our house.

My favorite thing about living in NC are the seasons. I grew up in a very undramatic-change-of-seasons kind of place. So, cold, sometimes snowy Winters, Springs full of pastel trees and blooming flowers, hot, sticky Summers, and colorful, leaf-crunching Falls are where it's at here in North Carolina. Fall and Spring are my faves.

The Bear approaching a leaf pile.

The Bear is walking this Autumn (compared to his first autumn where he was bound to me or in the stroller). He is now Explorer Bear. He loves his leaf piles.


leaf piles from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

The Other Things at the Park

We frequent a couple of parks one of them is Wilson Park in Carrboro. One day we went - it was a bit gloomy outside so I put him in his little raincoat:

 

Instead of running to the playground or sandbox he finds this puddle, which is the smallest puddle I've ever seen and he stomps in it:

puddle stomp from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Then he spies...no, not the slides or the swings, but a drainage grate:

This is not his first time spent with a drainage grate. He has looked down almost every drainage grate in the Chapel Hill area. It's quite funny. He'll even get other kids curious about it when he's down on his knees, butt in the air, looking into the darkness and then all of a sudden there are 5 kids looking down into the grate.

Nori

I thought having him wear his Hawaiian shirt (which I got at the Maui Savers) was only appropriate for his first nori tasting.

One of my brother and my favorite snacks as a kid was nori - dried seaweed. Our grandparents on Maui would send us big containers of them. We would eat them plain or scoop up rice with them. I thought I would go search for some here in N.C. and see if the Bear would enjoy it as much as I did. I found some at one of Durham's asian markets and lo and behold the Bear has a fondness for nori!

This stuff was a bit oilier than the stuff I recall eating as a child. I will try a different kind next time.

nori from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Jack-O-Lanterns

If a pumpkin were a human it'd look like the guy on the far right:

Cutest pumpkin I ever did see.

I thought for sure that Stan Bear would looooove sticking his hands inside the pumpkin and playing with the guts and seeds...but no. It was almost as if it grossed him out or maybe he was scared. He did love putting the cap on and pulling it off (over and over again.)

I found that he would play with the innards if I grabbed them out first:

 

He ended up throwing the entire bowl of seeds (from the small pumpkin) over the side of the stoop. Hopefully we'll get a volunteer pumpkin vine come summer!

He didn't actually help carve the pumpkins - I don't trust his knife skills yet. I do know that they sell pumpkin carving sets with safer tools. Those with older kids, when did you first let your children carve a pumpkin? I haven't carved one since sometime in my twenties. I need more practice but it looks like the Bear approves:

Here he is on Halloween "helping" me light them. He loved pulling the caps off and looking in. He has a great understanding of the word hot and knew not to touch the candlelight. 

Here is some video documentation:


pumpkin from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Speaking of Dancing

Since I shared a bit of dancing yesterday I thought I'd share two more dancing videos. Stan Bear is teaching him self to feel the rhythms and the beats. He loves music and dancing to it. It's so fun to watch him dance. Here are two more instances of him showing off his moves. The first is of him dancing to some Portugese music by Pedro Caldeira Cabal:
dance1 from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

And the second one:

dance 2 from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Fort

Mike watches the Bear twice a week. On those days I go home for lunch and nurse him. One day we built a fort made from a large piece of cardboard propped on the couch and stroller with a blanket thrown on top. The Bear loved it:

Here he is sorta dancing/clapping and then going through the tunnel fort:


fort dance from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Sleeping and Instincts

One of the most challenging parts of caring for a wee one is the sleeping part. More specifically, the getting him down to sleep part. He can be a little fighter. It's one of those instances where your instincts don't always work or where it can be easy to second guess yourself. Here's an example:

Time	Fact	Thought	Action	Thought
12:30 pm	He’s been awake for 3.5 hours.	He’s probably ready for a nap.	Take him to his crib; he screams so I take him out and we play some more.	Maybe he’s not tired, afterall!
12:52 pm	He’s rubbing his eyes.	Gosh, he must be tired, I should listen to my instincts.	Take him to his crib; he screams so I take him out and we play some more.	Huh. Maybe it’s too early. We’ll wait a bit more.
1:15 pm	He’s fussy. He’s getting frustrated easily.	He’s tired.	Take him to his crib. He cries. I let him cry. He’s quiet and asleep in under 2 minutes.	Geez. I bet I could have done that 45 minutes ago, the first time.

Naptime isn't always like this...usually it's pretty easy. He only takes one nap a day now which can range between 1-2.5 hours. But on tough days it is such an exercise in listening to my instincts and not letting his crying unsettle me too much. Still learning. ALWAYS learning. Forever learning.

Halloween

I don't think I ever posted the Bear cub's first Halloween costume on the blog. He was almost 4 months old at his first Halloween and couldn't yet sit up on his own so he was the perfect milk-drunk garden gnome:

I crocheted his beard and hat. My friend Heather knitted the cute little sweater. We have this old decaying tree stump in the backyard as the perfect placement for our little gnome. While making the beard all of the loose ends (before being woven back in) looked like whiskers of a catfish and we thought, "Next year he should be a catfish!" and Mike could be an Okie Noodler. (If you haven't seen the documentary on Okie Noodling, I highly recommend it.) But as time went by he was growing fast and it would be hard for Mike to lift him one handed (as the Noodler would a catfish.) So I strayed from that costume idea when I saw this image:
                                                

I was smitten. I knew I could turn Stan Bear into a plump, poisonous mushroom. An Amanita...or Stanmanita. So here is what I came up with: 

This is him half-dressed and unhappy. He wasn't into having a hat on his head...at first anyways.

Here is a better shot of the entire outfit. He is happier now because he is playing with a bowl full of candy.

Wild Mushroom.

Not the best pictures in the world but it was fun following him around like the paparazzi. I've already started brainstorming next Halloween's costume. 

Cat image from: www.bettyconfidential.com

Separation Anxiety

I was going through my drafts (I had 16 unfinished blog posts in there!) and here is one I wrote back in August:

I love this image. It makes me happy and also reminds me of me and Stan Bear. He has arrived at the separation anxiety stage. I noticed it beginning sometime before his first birthday but it became much stronger when we were in Idaho. When we got back from our trip he would cry when I'd drop him off at day care and he cries everyday now when I drop him off, although I don't think it lasts very long. I wonder if this elephant mom is thinking, "Give me some space! Go play with your father for awhile!" While the baby is like, "I want to be wherever you are Mama! Even if it means crossing the deepest river!"

Leaving him crying at daycare is not so hard for me - which is surprising. I know he is in good hands and is loved there. One day I dropped him off and as I got to the exit the co-director was there and could hear him crying and she said,"I can't let my little man cry, I got to go to him." and she headed off to the infant room. I could hear her when she got to the room and she said, "Well that didn't last, did it?" So he had stopped crying under a minute. So that was comforting and definitely has a lot to do with my ease of leaving him there.

Thankfully the Bear is no longer crying when I leave him at daycare. I think it's because he is officially in the Two's room now and he loves it in there. I drop him off and he stands there looking at EVERYTHING. I say, "See you later!" and sometimes he doesn't even look at me...he rarely acknowledges my leaving. They spend a lot more time outdoors in that class and they make art too! So he is usually pretty messy when I pick him up. He is quite the observer. I wish I could be a fly on the wall there to see what happens when he is done just standing there...what does he do!? His mood is always "happy" on his daily daycare report slips so I know he has got to be his active self...I just wish I could see it for myself. I wonder if he'll get separation anxiety again come preschool or kindergarten?


That picture is one of my favorite's too. It reminds me of when I cook dinner lately and the Bear is still awake I will stick him in the backpack and he LOVES to watch me cook. I will explain to him what I'm doing and even let him stir the pot. He really enjoys it.

Although his separation anxiety is done with (at least this stage) he is still pretty clingy to Mama. He wants his Mama more often than his Papa...not to say that he doesn't love his Papa, because man, oh, man does he love Papa Bear. "PaPApaPApaPaaaa!!!"

I just read this great post at Janet Lansbury's blog about how to calm your clingy child. It's a good read, as are most of her posts! You can read it here.

Images from: www.funnycutestuff.com and www.dailymail.co.uk

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Sour Cream!

One of Mike's favorite bachelor meals is a quesadilla cut into wedges and dipped into sour cream. It's actually one of our go-to-lazy-meals; so quick and easy to make. Stan Burrito really loves quesadillas. I didn't introduce the sour cream to him until one day he saw me dipping my wedge into some and he wanted to do the same. He ended up using his wedge as a dipping stick and just licking the sour cream off and not actually eating the quesadilla itself.

I got an email at work from Mike one day while he was on Daddy Daycare Duty and his email says,

"Yes, we've created a monster; the quesadilla and sour cream thing is terribly cute though and close to my heart. Hopefully this will be the only or worst thing he's inherited from me :)
…but i doubt it..."

And then five minutes later I get this email from him,

"Oh, he keeps trying to floss, which he owes to you and which is a good habit :)"

The day that I introduced sour cream there was only a tiny bit left in the container so I let him have it. He seemed to not only enjoy the taste but how it felt in between his fingers and all over his face!

sourcream from erin kawamata on Vimeo.