Our New Sleep Routine

So, basically the Bear associates nursing and Mama with sleeping. He will fall asleep on the futon and his first night waking is around 3 1/2 to 4 hours after he goes down. He will wake up and see that his Mama is not there and cry. I will go to him and nurse him. He will fall asleep 5-10 minutes into nursing. I will stay sleeping on the futon with him for the rest of the night and when he wakes he will nurse again and fall asleep. Repeat this waking/nursing/sleeping thing 4 -5 times in the middle of the night...yaaaawn.  After reading Dr. Ferber's book I was more aware of his sleep associations and noticed that he would reach out (eyes closed) and just poke my arm or shoulder or chest to make sure I was still there. My presence helped him fall asleep and when he woke, my presence and nursing helped him to fall back asleep. According to Dr. Ferber babies who are 3 months and older don't need to be nourished during the night, so that is not something that I should be worrying about. Ferber writes,

Virtually all children without major medical or neurological disorders have the ability to sleep well. They can go to bed at an appropriate time, fall asleep within minutes and stay asleep until a reasonable hour in the morning. And while it is normal for each child (and adult) to have brief wakings during the night, these arousals should last only a few seconds or minutes and the child should go back to sleep easily on his own. 

What he suggests is to place the baby in his crib and tuck him in and say good night and then leave the room. Basically, the baby needs to figure out how to fall asleep on his own, no sleep aides like Mama, her nipple or even a pacifier. He suggests a 5, 10, 15 minutes routine but I changed it to 1, 3, 5, 10, 15 minute routine. What this means is once you tuck your baby in and he's crying after one minute you go in and console him, without rocking him or nursing him but maybe a gentle tap on the bum or belly. If he's standing I will pick him up and gently lay him down again. If he's lying down I will just touch his forehead or cheek and say something like, "It's time to go to sleep. I know you're upset because I am not here. I will be in the other room. Goodnight." and walk out. I leave the door open too, wide open (because otherwise he can open and shut it from the crib!) Then you wait 3 minutes. If he's still crying after three you go back in and do the same thing and your repeat this but each time you wait longer, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15minutes. If you have to then you repeat the 15 minutes over and over again until he falls asleep.

NIGHT 1

I didn't write down the time that I put him down but he cried through the 1, 3, and 5 minute cycle and MAN OH MAN was that hard on me (and him). But lo and behold 5 minutes into his 10 minute cycle he stopped crying and fell asleep at 8:28 pm (I'm estimating a 17 minute put down time.) I went in to check on him and he was sitting but leaning forward with his head between his feet. I pulled his legs out from underneath him.

He woke at 12:46 am (4.5 hours later), I went in and lay him back down and he cried. I left and he stopped screaming only 2 minutes later. 3 minutes later he was whimpering and then silence...asleep. He awoke at 3:33 am and 4:47 am just whimpering. Ferber says not to go in if they are whimpering, only if they are really crying. 5:06 he woke and then one minute later he was quiet...but then the next minute he was whimpering and then crying. At 5:29 am he broke out into a full cry and we did 3, 5, 10 and then it was 6 am and I thought, he's just awake. So we woke up after a rough first night. We were to continue this routine for his naps too.

NIGHT 2
7:51 pm I tucked him in. 1 minute. 3 minutes whimpering/crying. 3 minutes in to is 5 minute cycle he was down at 8:02 pm. 11 minutes...a 6 minute improvement from the previous night. When I checked on him he was on his belly. Hooray!

He woke at 11:15 (just over 3 hours later) and fell asleep during the 3 minute cycle. Whimpering at 1:30am. Awake at 2:30 am  - 2 minutes into the 3 minute cycle was babbling then asleep. He seemed to whimper on the hour that night. We both were exhausted the next day.

NIGHT 3
7 pm tucked in. 1 minute. 3 minute whimpering. 7:09 quiet...asleep! 9 minutes from tucked in to asleep, a 2 minute improvement from the night before!

He woke at 11:59 pm. (Almost 5 hours later.) 1 minute - down. Whimpering started at 2 am on the hour until 4:28 am he was crying. 3, 5, 10, 15, 15. Up, just up. I gave up but 5:15 is way to early for me to be awake. Another day spent like the walking dead.

NIGHT 4
I decided to start with 3 minutes instead of 1 minute this night. Tucked him in at 7:20 pm. 3 minutes later he was whimpering, 4 minutes after that he was quiet at 7:27pm. 7 minutes!, a two minute improvement from the previous night!

He awoke at 12:13am (4 hours, 45 minutes later). 3 minutes, whimpering. I wrote: 12:17am quiet...cries every now and then as if in pain or discomfort. Change dipe. 12:31, 5 minutes..12:36 wuiet. 1:08 whimpering. 4:42, 3, 5,10. 5:02 am asleep. I think we wok at 6:30 am that day. Another sleepwalking kinda day.

NIGHT 5
6:48 pm, 3 minutes. 6:52 quiet. 4 minutes! a 3 minute improvement.

He woke at 9:39 pm (just under three hours later.) During the day he only took 2 naps and with the poor sleep at night I think 3 naps are needed until we can improve the night time sleep. Ferber even says that they better/more they sleep during the day the better they'll sleep at night. Sounds strange but true, I have proof. 9:47 pm down. 11:39 pm and 1:30 am, whimpering. 1:42, up, 3 minutes...1:46 am quiet. Then whimpering almost on the hour, every hour. 5:30 am wake up. Blerrrrrg!!!!

NIGHT 6
7:43 pm tucked in. 7:45 pm asleep. 2 minute improvement! He took three naps during the day and one of the naps was late, from 6-7pm which I was a little nervous about but it worked out.

1:51am whimpering but I didn't get up. 4:21am, up (8.5 hours of blissful sleep! and I got to sleep 7.5 hours of that!) 5 minutes. 4:26am, asleep. 6:10 am, up for the day. We were both so refreshed.

NIGHT 7
7:56 pm, no crying when I put him down this time! A first! Just some quiet moaning. Down 3 minutes later at 7:59 pm.

He woke at 2:40 am (6.5 hours or so!) Then down at 2:46 am. Awake at 6:10 am.

As you can see, it works. It totally works. I have more thoughts on this subject but will save it for another post.

Here is a reward for reading all of that boring sleep stuff: