In Defense of the Birth Center

I took this when we went to the Outerbanks several years ago.

 Being pregnant seems to let down boundaries...not the pregnant persons boundaries, but everyone elses...or it's like the pregnant person's boundaries are completely invisible to most people. For instance people feel like they can comment on your body, how big or small you are. They feel like they can tell you that you're "not going to make it to your due date." - I guess that's a body comment too. They feel like they can tell you about their horrifying and painful birth story (Sometimes I don't mind hearing these, I think it depends on my mood and on the tone and who is telling me!) They feel like they can tell you what you should and shouldn't eat. I could go on and on and on.

One of my pet peeves is when people ask if we are  giving birth at UNC or Duke and I tell them the Women's Birth and Wellness Center (WBWC) and they almost pass out. I'm exaggerating, of course. Apparently two of Mike's educated colleagues had a strong reaction. One said something like, "I hope you're not doing something crazy like a home birth." And Mike told her that we were going through the Birth Center and then she told him her horror labor story involving meconium. Of course she made that initial comment out of love - she just wants everyone to be safe and healthy. Another colleague, when told that we were going to the Birth Center, was incredulous about the whole thing. I have had people voice concern about it too but I usually put them at ease when I say, "They have a great relationship with UNC, if anything goes wrong." Which I think is a stupid answer because, I don't think I have to put them at ease and this is a great chance to tell them about the Birth Center. (I have a feeling that this post is going to be a little snooty...I apologize ahead of time.) So I wrote a list of wonderful reasons why we chose the Birth Center and I keep it in my wallet and will not be afraid to whip it out and read the entire thing to whomever asks or is in shock that we wouldn't give birth at the hospital (and then I'm sure they'll regret that they ever asked.)

1. We want to have a natural and vaginal birth without the use of pitocin(speeds up contractions) or an epidural(used for pain relief.) I realize that this can take place at a hospital too but there is more acceptance for a natural birth plan at the Birth Center - I don't want to have to explain to every nurse and doctor that we want to go natural - I don't want to have to negotiate while having contractions. I would like to try all of the alternative ways to bring on labor and to ease the pain before I am given the pit/epi option.
2. The assistance of a midwife is important to me. Maybe I was brainwashed by the documentary, "The Business of Being Born" but it was pretty darn convincing and it all just made simple sense to me and I encourage y'all to watch it so you can jump along this natural childbirth train with me and see some of the reasons why I made this decision. Midwives, on average, have assisted more women in vaginal births than the average doctor has (at least in the United States.) There are some doctors that have never seen a live vaginal birth but instead make a habit of doing C-Sections and giving drugs to speed contractions up because time is money. (I learned this in that documentary and I may not be quoting it exactly, so, another reason to watch it yourself.) Yeah, that sounds harsh but I'm not a baby factory, I want to be cared for by someone who has witnessed and aided in hundreds if not thousands of births - I want someone to know what I can do to ease the pain naturally, to tell me what types of positions I can be in to aid in my comfort. (I think part of the reason why people are outspoken and critical of Birth Centers vs. Hospitals is because midwives don't have the respect that doctors have in this country or even in this day in age. I wonder if the title "Midwife" sounds like some hokey/hippy title to some people and if it does we need to get past that stereotype. Midwives are educated people - you need a degree to be a midwife! You don't just magically become one by dancing under the moonlight with the magical wild animals although, that would be a great way to earn a degree! My alma mater, UNM has an award winning Midwifery program.)
3. I've never liked going to the doctors. I have a very mild case of Iatrophobia, although I'm getting better about it.
4. I will have control over the environment. I can write in my birth plan who can come into the room. I can decide on the dimness of the lights and the warmth of the room. I can choose what position to give birth in. I can move around during labor, even go for a walk outside. I can eat and drink. I can have a water birth. I can sit in the shower. We can play music if we want. I'm sure much of this can happen in the hospital, like the lights and room temp and even the shower but I feel like the Birth Center has all of these options, no arguments. I feel like I will have the freedom to choose what feels right in that moment when it comes to comfort and care.
5. If all goes well we can hold the baby immediately after birth and initiate breastfeeding right away. The midwife and nurse do the newborn examination while the baby is in the mother's arms. 
6. After the placenta is delivered we can go into the bath with the baby and hold him up and "play."
7. We can keep the placenta if we want, no questions asked, no judgements made. 
8. If all is well we can go home with the baby 3-6 hours after the birth. 
9. The Birth Center has a great relationship with UNC Hospital. So if for some reason I need an epidural or pitocin or an emergency C-Section, I can go there and the midwife will come with me and be there during the entire labor and birth.

I have an open mind. I know that I might have to go to the hospital and that is fine. I might need a C-section and that is fine. I might need an epidural and that is fine. The Birth Center is my first option, my ideal, and I have done a good amount of research and feel confident in the Midwives at the Center. I have confidence in Mike as my birth partner. I even have confidence in myself even though it has been hammered into my brain many times how painful labor pains are...and that's a whole other thing. Doing research on everything puts me at ease. I know about meconium, we learned about complications in our birthing classes. I've read about complications. I know the things to do if anything comes up and I have confidence in Mike, the midwife and the nurse to know what to do as well. Whenever I move to a new place I look up what poisonous spiders and snakes live there so that I don't have to freak out everytime I see a spider or a snake. Now I know I can talk to the Black Racers and big ol' wolf spiders without fear of going to the emergency room. In this case, ignorance is not bliss, same goes for birthing establishments.

Labor pains, they are life's mystery. No one can really explain what they feel like but they try, even if you didn't ask them. Just today I had someone say, "It's pain like, shoving an extra large catheter up your penis over and over again." That isn't a helpful description if you've never had an XL catheter or if you don't have a penis. Another person said, "It's like having a 9 pound poop come out of your vagina." That's not helpful, because I've never had a 9 pound poop come out of any part of my body (or maybe I have, I just don't weigh my poops.) Another person said, "It's like having menstral cramps times 100." That's almost helpful but I can't imagine what 100 times more than anything feels like, plus everyone has varying cramp pains. I think that description combined with the sensation of going number 2 is kind of helpful. Apparently it is really really really really really really really really to infinity really painful. Everyone's threshold of pain is different. This is how I put a positive spin on people's painful labor stories: every time I have any type of pain, a headache, twisted ankle, mosquito bite, round ligament pain, cramp, burned finger, etc. I tell myself, "This ain't nothin'. Labor pains will be a gazillion times more painful." Even though I don't know what a gazillion is. I imagine it's going to be like torture, just by what the majority has described to me. I don't know what torture feels like either but from what Sydney Bristow went through I must say it doesn't look like a cake walk.  This way I take these horror labor pain stories and turn them into something useful, I take my daily pains and tell myself that I ain't seen nothing yet and maybe that will make it seem like nothing because I've built it up to be the most painful pain in the world. I can't wait to try and describe what it feels like...We shall see.

UPDATE: Read "A Supplement to 'In Defense of the Birth Center' " as well!