Mama's Favorite Outfit

Most baby clothes are cute...but I've definitely got some of my favorite outfits. This is probably at the top of the list right now:

He's walking through a tunnel at the playground at the Life & Science Museum.

It's a sleeveless romper from American Apparel. It's 100% cotton, roomy and light weight. It's in red, white and blue stripes (all those colors suit him.

He's pointing at the little sailboats.

Here he is passed out in the car in the cute outfit:

Father & Son

I love this picture of the Bear and his Pa. Mike has a love of light (which you can see by looking at his artwork) and is showing the Bear the sunlight coming through the ridged, glass bricks. I like that their last name means son of sunshine too.

I may not be posting regularly for the next couple of weeks (vacation!) but I will try!

His Changing Mark

Check out his hemangioma birth mark on his neck. You can see how it started light, got dark and is starting to fade. (The twelve month picture is blurry, my bad) but I think you can see the changes pretty well. It may fade completely or there may be a hint of it. We shall see.

Walking

Our boy is walking. It's still new to him which means he's still getting the hang of it...but he's walking. Everyday he is walking. He resorts to crawling still too because he is a very fast crawler but I think he loves the current challenge of moving his feet underneath him. Here he is from crawling fast to taking many steps in a row!

walking 1 from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Vacuuming...kinda.

Like I said before, Stan Bear likes copying us. Here he is vacuuming...kinda. He's sort of apprehensive about it when it is on. He seems to freeze or run to Mama when I turn it on. But when it's off, he'll "vacuum" away.


vacuuming from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

It just goes to show that our children watch us. They watch our every move. If we vacuum they will. If we open the door with keys, so will they. If we say bless you or gesundheidt after someone sneezes, so will they (eventually). If we spit, they will spit. If we scream when we see a spider or snake, so will they. If we use derogatory words, they will too. If we judge, sadly, they will most likely judge too. Luckily there are all sorts of teachers one can learn from. I hope he is watching me really well when I wash dishes and when I sleep (or feign sleep) at 5 in the morning while he is wreaking havoc.

Shoes

While we were in Maryland visiting Auntie Sue and fam Stan Bear took his first two steps (I missed it). He took another two steps maybe 5 days later and then would take a couple of steps every other day for a bit and then he started to do 5 steps and do that for a couple of days in a row and then last Friday at Mike's art opening he took a good 7 to 8 steps. It was grand. The next day he did that many steps or more. On Sunday we went to the Museum and he did a record amount of steps, over and over again! I now call him Walker, Texas Ranger. It's so lovely. He looks a little drunk. I should make him carry a flask and have him walk. So, I thought I should get my walker some shoes. I bought some flip flops and some "sneakers" that I thought were cute until I photographed him in them and they're kinda ugly, but he still looks cute...of course...he does have the legs of a model. I think he was fascinated by them a little but also hated them. It was similar to putting tape on a cat's paws:


nu shooz from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Biting and Nurturing this Beautiful Spark

I've been lucky thus far on the biting-the-nipples front...but I think my luck has run out. Whenever he has teeth coming in (I think his bottom canines are starting to pop through in addition to those big ol' molars!) he tends to be rougher when nursing...I think it is because he is getting used to the new teeth. He also nurses more - to soothe I think. The other day he bit down and I pushed his head toward my breast, as I heard that was supposed to help, but it didn't in this case so I yelped, "No!" and he smiled and kept biting. I said no again and  I detached him from me. He smiled and laughed. I told him it wasn't funny and that it hurt but my response just made him laugh more. I was so upset. My initial thought was, "What a little devil!" and then I tried nursing again and he bit and pulled away while biting...imagine eating a Charleston Chew candy bar and pulling it away...yes, chewy, candy bar nipple. YOW! I told him that it hurts and that we don't bite and he just smiled and giggled. So I did the unthinkable and I said to him, "Do I have to show you what it feels like?" and he just laughed and smiled. And so I bit his upper arm just hard enough so he could see what it felt like. He cried. I picked him up and told him that I was sorry and that I loved him but that biting hurts. He stopped crying fairly quickly. I felt bad about what I did all day long. If he kicked me, I wouldn't kick him to show him that kicking hurts. If he hit me, I wouldn't hit him to show that hitting hurts. So why would I bite him? Why was he smiling and laughing? That's what perplexed me the most and made me think he was being devilish. I was frustrated and scared - but why scared? I had so many questions. So, I went to seek advice from Janet Lansbury's blog. I've mentioned her before, mostly when I was still pregnant, here, here, and here. She teaches Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) style parenting. RIE was founded by Magda Gerber and Tom Forrest, M.D.  This is their vision statement for RIE:

"Through our approach which honors infants and young children as equal members in relationships, we are dedicated to creating a culture of people who are authentic, resourceful and respectful. Our work is inspired by the natural integrity of infants and the formative power of relationships in their lives. When allowed to unfold in their own way and in their own time, children discover, manifest and inspire the best in themselves and in others. We are profoundly committed to sharing the opportunity to see infants with new eyes."

Janet Lansbury quotes Magda Gerber on her site:

"Take the mobile off the bed, take care of their needs and leave them alone."

I like that quote because I feel like it gets to the heart of RIE. Babies don't need frills. They are smart beings and will learn more on their own than with their parents constant intervention; away with helicopter moms! Reading her words and philosophies were so inspiring when I was pregnant. I wanted to use the RIE philosophy when I became a parent. Now having the baby outside of the womb I must say, it's hard, you have to train yourself to not show him how to do something, to see if he can figure it out instead because your instinct is to help. If he is crying, instead of picking him up right away, watch and see if he can figure it out for himself. A majority of the time he figures it out. What I've learned is that crying is his way of expressing frustration, weariness, or pain. If I see that he's frustrated, for example, I try to say, "I see that you are frustrated. Are you trying to figure out how to turn the knob?" So we're engaging in a conversation and it shows that I'm aware of what he is feeling. It acknowledges his feelings (she writes another great article on that here.) Sometimes I will show him how to do it but a lot of the time I tell him that he is on the right track and that I know he can do it and he usually figures it out. It's so interesting. What's challenging about this approach is that your first instinct is always to help; instead you have to practice patience and step back before acting. So I went to her site and looked up biting and it was oh, so helpful. I came upon this article: Biting, Hitting, Kicking and Other Challenging Toddler Behavior. Just in the first two paragraphs she had me. She asks why would you take this behaviour personally? Here is the second paragraph:

"We get triggered and become angry, frustrated or scared. We might lose perspective and find ourselves stooping to our child's level, going at it head-to-head with a tot who's only a fraction of our size. We might be compelled to lash out, even hit or bite back (!), or attempt to regain control by sternly laying down the law, shaming or punishing our toddler in the name of "teaching a lesson". "

Holy moly. Everything she said is how I felt or what I did. I got angry, frustrated and scared. I bit him back. So what can I do differently? Why does he bite? He bites because he needs help. I know it is because he has these new things in his mouth and he wants to either experiment or ease his pain. I like what she wrote as an example for what to say when he bites...I wrote it on a piece of paper and hung it on the wall as a reminder to myself:

"I won't let you bite me. That hurts. I'm going to have to put you down and get something you can bite safely."

She talks about Perspective and Attitude - understanding the child and having the right attitude in order to communicate with him effectively. She talks about Anchors - the child needs our patience and empathy so that they feel safe in coming to us later and telling us how they feel. Finally she talks about Unruffled Responses - instead of screaming "NOOOO!" when he bites me, try to say calmly, "I won't let you bite me." This is harder than you may think because when tiny piranha teeth chomp down on your nipple and then pull away like your nipple is salt water taffy the first thing you want to do is scream "NOOOOOOOOOO!" but it's the screaming no that makes him laugh. He thinks, "Mama is making some fun new sounds" and he wants me to make more of these fun new sounds. Having this perspective immediately helps answer my question of why I was scared. I was scared that he was turning into a mean little bully. Sometimes I forget that he is experiencing everything for the first time. He is full of wonder, awe, excitement and intrigue (he points at the pen jar like it's made of gold and butterfly wings and filled with licorice and pixie sticks.) I wrote the post the other day titled The Things He Does where I wondered about how we lose the joy, innocence and appreciation of everything. It seems children are so full of life and it's as if our spark gets tamped out the older we get. I think it's instances like me biting him that smother this beautiful spark. I wish I could take it back but I won't dwell on it...I'll look ahead and respond unruffled and acknowledge his feelings. I'll try my hardest.

Our Regular Weekend Go-To

We go to the Life and Science Museum in Durham almost every weekend, especially now that the weather is so hot. There is stuff to do inside and outside. If it's hot out we do outside stuff first and then come inside. Lately we've been going to these places outside: The butterfly house:

He loves the plants in here just as much as the butterflies. There are partridges in here as well, they are amazing!
Then to Into the Mist:

H

This exhibit is basically a bunch of artificial grassy knolls with mist and he likes crawling all around. We usually get pretty wet too, so the logical thing to do next is catch a cool breeze on the train:

Then we look at the animals and drum on the drums. Then we head inside.
His new favorite things inside are these huge blue blocks:

 He likes to climb over them:

Our last stop is usually the infant room which he is quickly growing out of but the last time we went we wandered out of the infant room and into the bigger kid area which has lots of stuff like a play kitchen, a play barnyard/animal hutch, a lego wall and so much more:

He really enjoyed the lego wall. I have a feeling that stepping on legos is in our future...I can hear the expletives flying out of Mike's mouth now.
Here is a video of him playing drums, crawling around rooms and playing in the infant room:

museum from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Twelve Month Check-up

A couple of days after his birthday he had his 12 month doctor's appointment. He is starting to level out on his weight and weighed in at 23 pounds, 13 ounces which puts him at the 60th percentile for his age. He is still on the upward path for height at 31 1/2 inches which is in the 90th percentile for heighth. His noggin has held steady in the 50th percentile at 46.5 centimetres around.

The Doc said that it was up to us when we wanted to stop breastfeeding and switch to milk. She said that cow's milk is the most fatty and nutritious but we could do other milks as well, like rice or almond but that they may need to be supplemented with calcium. We'll see what happens. I'm going to continue nursing and see if the Bear decides for himself or if I run dry.

She said to start brushing his teeth now but not to worry about using kid's toothpaste until he was closer to 18 months. I try to do a daily routine of teethbrushing but I need to make it a habit.

That's pretty much it. He's a healthy growing boy and we are so happy to have him!

Copying Ma and Pa

Stanley Burrito wants to do everything that we are doing. He wants to eat what we are eating, even if he just ate. He wants to vacuum (he crawls around pushing the hand vac around and I turn it on in hopes of him actually sucking up some cat hair. I will get this on video.) He wants to be up high so he can see things from our vantage point. The other day he was making noise with my keys and when I looked to see what he was doing I was amazed. He was trying to put them up by the lock as if to unlock the door. Have a look:



keys from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

First Molars

Remember how I said I could feel his first molar on the top left of the Bear's mouth? Well, I can now feel three of his first molars: two on the top one on the bottom left(one green, two orange). They are not like his front teeth. They are four pronged (according to the doctor) although it feels like they are two pronged, points on the outside and points on the inside with the center part of the tooth in the middle that will erupt last - so there's a big chunk of gum there. I don't want to think about what happens to the big chunk of gum. OY.   The one on the bottom right (in pink) is coming, but not cutting through his gums yet. I can't believe the poor fella has to go through this all at once. I guess he's getting it all over with rather than one at a time but still, ouch! His poor, achy mouth! He bites everything (including me, my knee, my shoulder, not so much my nipple, sometimes but not hard.) Things I've noticed since these darned molars have started moving in:

1) His appetite is inconsistent. He either eats a lot or doesn't want anything.
2) He seems to want to nurse all the time.
3) He's more fond of his pacifier.
4) His poops are sloppier and stinkier.
5) I've noticed one time he felt slightly hot but not really feverish.
6) He gets up between 4 and 5 am. FUN!
7) He's fussier.

The good thing is, once those four big ones are in he's just got 8 more teeth to go!! Go Bear, Go!

The Things He Does

Here he is crawling over the little hills in the Into the Mist exhibit at the Museum of Life and Science.

I love that Stan Bear's at that age where he can really interact with us. He points at everything. Which I've mentioned before and was worried that that might stunt his speech but Auntie Sue said that if we continue to talk to him and tell him what he's pointing at that that would be helpful in his speech. We shall see.

The other day I said to him, "Can you say Mama?" and instead of saying anything he  pointed at me! So he knows that I'm Mama. When I said, "Can you say Kitty?" He said, "ti-ti-ti" or "di-di-di" almost as if he was practicing that T sound in the word kitty. When I say, "Can you say Papa?" and if Papa is not home he'll look at the door. It's so much fun to witness him learning at such a swift pace.

He had the hiccups the other evening and every time he'd hiccup, I would pretend hiccup and then he'd start laughing. When he sneezes I either say, bless you, gesundheit, or salúd and he gives me the biggest smile as if sneezing is the best thing ever. I love laughing with him. I can go, "Ha ha ha, ho ho ho!" and he will laugh back at me and we will go back and forth. It is lovely.

When he is done with his bath and I wrap him up in his towel and we leave the bathroom I say, "Can you turn the light off for me?" and he does and then he gets this huge, proud smile on his face. Now I don't even have to ask him he just goes right for the switch.

He is a hugger. He hugs Mama, Papa, Moose, Tomás the Bear, Cowstar, Dickie the Cat. I went to breakfast with my friend Jane and after sitting at our table for awhile he decided that he really liked her and showed her by looking at her and holding his hands up (which he does to say he wants up from his chair) and so she lifted him up and held him and then he gave her a hug! So sweet.  Do all babies hug like this? I feel like they must. I asked Mike the other night what happens to humans...to adults...how do we lose this joy, innocence, appreciation of everything? How can we help nurture it? How can we make it last longer? I know that the Bear won't be happy-go-lucky all the time (he isn't all the time anyways). I am as prepared as I can be for the angst of the teenage years but I can't help but wonder if he will he retain some of this sweetness? I hope so.

I should probably not worry about it and instead appreciate this very moment.

Noisemaker

One of Stanley's favorite noises to make:


noisemaker from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

I like how he makes the noise and then points to me as if we are in a noise making battle.

A Haircut

I cut Aki Bear's fringe (his bangs) on his birthday. I didn't do it all at once. I followed him around all morning with scissors. I made the first cut on our morning walk in his wagon. I snapped this picture before the first clip:

His hair was constantly in his eyes. Kinda cute, but annoying (for me), it didn't seem to bother him. Looking at that picture makes me sort of miss his longish hair but I no longer have to put a barrette in there or give him the Pebbles up-do.  Here is most of the hair that I trimmed:

Golden locks. Not much. I followed him around the house trimming his hair!

Here is his after pic:

I think he's pointing at the rain gutter.

He can see! I left the rest of it. People still think he's a girl. I don't correct them unless they ask what her name is, then I say, "His name is Stan Bear."

Eating Cake

Here is an action shot of the cake-eating:


cake from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Drawing

Here he is unhappy about having his picture taken with black and pink pen marks all over his face.

I've gotten Aki Bear to write/draw 2 thank you notes but honestly I had to sort of follow his pen with the paper. It was like herding cats. He poked the paper more than anything; this was probably when he was closer to 9 months old. I decided to give it another try now that he is a year old and I must say he has improved by leaps and bounds. I no longer have to follow his pens with the paper. He doesn't always get the right side of the pen on the paper but I think he understands that he is making marks with these tools. It's pretty cool. He also ends up with ink all over his hands, legs and face (see picture above!) Watch him draw:

draw from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Goggles

My Ma and Pa got Stanley bear some swim gear for his birthday including the goggles above which he seemed to enjoy wearing until he ripped them off.

They also got these ones that seem more like snowboarding goggles or something...or maybe protective gear for when he uses the table saw...Come on Bear, build us that picnic bench already! They are too big for him but he'll fit them eventually. He really enjoyed wearing them (they weren't as tight as the others) and he just sat there looking at me for about a minute, I'm sure I looked all blue and sparkly. Then he pulled them off:

I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction when we use them in the pool. I think he'll dig looking under water. I just need to get over the fear of the pool which I've had ever since he got that virus which turned into rotten pneumonia.

Playing and Giggling with Dickie the Cat

This tickles me. I've been waiting for an interaction like this for an entire year! Plus I like that he understands what I am saying to him. He knows so much!


cat play from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

At the River

I like to call this picture, "Namaste, Cake."

We celebrated the Bear's birthday by meeting at the Eno River...the river that I hiked once a week while pregnant and where he went on his first hike ever. We thought going there would be fitting since he loves nature and water. We wanted it to be casual and almost un-birthday like except for the cake part! And it was. It was a casual affair.

 He would lunge forward and crawl over the slippery river rocks. He was pretty good at it too!

Here he is chillin' with his pal Kavi and sucking in his gut. They called eachother to coordinate swimsuit colors.

Here he is on Papa-san's shoulders taking in the flowing river.

Pointing at Christina.

This is what the cake ended up looking like. Good job, Bear! It was a sticky mess but worth it.

It was a good day.

Starting next weekend I've decided to only post on the weekdays rather than every day. So check in Monday thru Friday from now on! I need the time to keep up with our disaster of a house!

First Trip Around the Sun

I can't believe my boy has been outside the womb and on this earth for one entire year. First of all, Mike and I, two adults with close to zero baby experience have kept this sprightly human alive and well! Second of all, where in the heck did the time go?!

From the moment we got to the Birth Center, his heart rate was at a good strong and regular 140-150 bpms and stayed that way throughout my labor; I think this gave us a good idea of what kind of person this would be. He is a pretty mellow guy; not much rattles him. Also, when the midwife checked my cervix she said, "He's got a full head of hair." And it kept on growing once he graced us with his sweet presence. We should scout him out for a Garnier Fructis commercial.

Mike and I have been changed...for the better. I would list the ways but that would be boring. Well, I will say one thing: Our hearts are bigger. Who knew we could love someone so much? And it's a different kind of love than marriage love. It's a different kind of love than an owner/pet love. It's even a different kind of love than a child-loves-a-parent love. The parent's love isn't better it's just more plump. It's different. It's protective. It's an amazed love. It's a wonder-full love. It's a sparkling, new love. Where a child's love for their parent is, for me anyway, something they have never been without. It's expected, innate - which doesn't make it so new or dramatic...it just IS and always has been - which there's something wonderful to be said about my parents for that. In the words of Papa Mike, "Don't you just love him sooo much?!" Yes. Yes I do.

Here is a 20 minute video I compiled of moments from his first year. I know that seems awfully long but once you start watching you won't be able to stop, I promise. So put on your headphones (I'm lookin' at you Mrs. White), grab your coffee(drink up Auntie Sue) or lemon water(Ma), a fork and your asparagus, leek, gruyere quiche or coconut dream pie and sit back and have yourself a listen and a watch and see how fast the year has flown by for us...for it does seem like the year was 20 minutes long.


ONE from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Your Body Is Doing Good Work

I just re-read my Birth Story, all four parts of it! It really was amazing to re-live it almost one year later. One year ago today I was sitting in a tub at the birth center, so relieved to be there. The bath was a welcome respite after having spent 72 hours at home with irregular contractions and a tired hubby. I love my first-shift(!) midwife Emily and my nurse Missy. I found this video several months after giving birth and it made me cry then. I watched it again before posting it here today and it made me cry still. Nothing out of the ordinary happens. I think it makes me emotional because it is a glimpse into what I went through and what I was feeling at the moment (relief, for we had just found out that I was 9 cm. dilated and the tub was like a natural painkiller.) I feel like it's a Me that I am not used to seeing or being. I'm so calm (tired) and my movements are really deliberate and slow. And being nude in front of three clothed people isn't something I do very often yet I was at complete and utter ease (besides having contractions!)You can hear my midwife's calm and understanding voice in the background. When I watch this and hear her say, "Your body is doing good work." I cry...I cry every time I hear those words. She was so sweet.




birth center from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

STANding to Walking

So, I think I failed to mention that Stanley Bear can now stand without holding on to anything (we now call him Standing Bear.) He's been doing that for several weeks now. One of the first times he did it he was standing in the bath tub and he raised his arms up, looked at me wide-eyed as if to say, "Look Ma! No hands!!!" and then PLUNK, his little butt went down into the tub water and he smiled (because he likes to splash and maybe because he was just standing without holding on to anything!!!) Here is a video of him standing (but crying):

standing crying from erin kawamata on Vimeo.


So, the next step after standing is walking. Here he is pushing the high chair at Auntie Sue's last weekend:

Here is a video of him doing it:


walking from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

While in Maryland last weekend, the last morning we were there, I was packing up the car and Sue and Carter were hanging out with Standing Bear in the back yard. They witnessed his first solo steps on the first day of July in the year of Twenty-thousand-thirteen. We've got a walker on our hands people! Watch out Mike's stuff!

Road Trip

Stanley Burrito is the best road trip partner I've ever had. I wish I had pictures of us on the road but then that would have probably caused a serious wreck. So you just have my words this time. We drove up to Maryland for a long weekend. In the car, he either sleeps, or claps his hands on command. I say, "Stanley, clap your hands!" and he claps his hands. REALLY. It's adorable. I hand him crackers and he grabs them and smiles and I laugh and then he laughs. Then I laugh, then he laughs. And then we just go back and forth until we are just laughing. REALLY. It's adorable. Sometimes he gets a bit cranky but it usually doesn't last long. I had a stock pile of stuff to hand back to him. His moose, some stacking cups, a ball, a blanket, 3 books, crackers, puffs, his water bottle, my water bottle, his pacifier. Most of the stuff ends up flying out of his seat but he does play with the things that I pass to him for a bit of time (except for the ball which he threw immediately after handing to him.) In his new carseat I can look back and down on his head and he has figured out how to look up and to the side to see me...sort of a driving peek a boo. He's a sweet boy.

We drove up to visit Mike's sis, Sue and her lovely family including their newest addition, Nala, the dog, who looks like a lion and who is one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met.

Here is Nala brushing Stan Bear's head of luxurious hair with her very own luxurious tail.

Here is one of my favorite pics of the Bear with his Auntie Sue, and there were lots to choose from including one of her feeding him banana and the other one with the snow cone but this one takes the cake because it shows the Bear's utter joy when he is with his Auntie Sue:

He really just adores her. One morning (or afternoon?) they were sitting near the window and looking out and talking about all the things that they could see (bunnies, a yellow slide, flowers, trees, etc.) and then the Bear stops and grabs either side of her face, looks at her and then gives her a big hug. It was a sweet, sweet moment.

He wasn't so sure about Uncle Dave (although they met the first time over Christmas). I think the Bear is a little wary of men with zero facial hair. He was curious about him the entire time but eventually warmed right up, grillside:

And of course he loved his cousins Abby and Carter. I love this picture of him with Abby by the cheerful hydrangeas:

He's probably pointing at the sage or a bunny or something.

Here he is with Carter who he loved playing piano with so much that he gave him multiple hugs mid piano session. Super sweet hugger boy. Here they are in the kitchen:

He is probably pointing at the teapot.

We had so much fun. I love you all! Can't wait for the next road trip up north!!

Climbing

He loves to climb up on anything he possibly can:


climbing from erin kawamata on Vimeo.

Top 3

I've been tracking my pregnancy and the arrival and all of the experiences with Stanley Bear now for about a year and a half now. I'm so glad I started this blog - which began as a way to keep our families and friends across the map in the know with my pregnancy. I'm currently trying to turn the pregnancy portion of it into a book. The next step will be to turn the first year of the Bear's life on this blog into a second book. (These are books that I print and bind myself.) I hope I can do it. It's already taking me a lot longer than I imagined.

Since this is the Bear's birth week I thought I'd look back at some of the posts that I did when I was pregnant or when he was much tinier. On blogspot (which hosts my little blog here) they have a "Stats" section where I can see how many people checked out the blog in a day, week, month, year or all time. I can also see the top posts. Out of curiousity I looked into this and the top 3 posts are, in order:

1. Midwife's Appointment: Dilated and Effaced
2. Garlic Clove in the "Fanny Pack"
3. To Eat Placenta, or Not to Eat Placenta, That is the Question

I thought that was neat. People are looking at the more informative posts on pregnancy.

And last July 1, this is what I posted:

Things I look forward to NOT being pregnant

• Meeting Thunder Bear.
• Sleeping on my tummy.
• Drinking a glass of wine - guilt free.
• Running.
• Riding my bike.
• Not getting up more than once a night to go pee.
• Power yoga.
• Hot baths and saunas.
• People not making comments about how I look.
• People not telling me what I can and cannot do.
• Unpasteurized cheese.

 P.S. I'm still pregnant
 ________________________________________________________________________

• It's been great getting to know Thunder Bear, who is now, Aki Bear.
• I love sleeping on my tummy, although it took some getting use to in the beginning.
• Wine. Yum.
• Running. Still can't do this without peeing.
• Riding my bike. I rode my bike once and it was good. I need to do it more often. 
• I almost never get up to go pee anymore.
• I have only done power yoga a handful of times. I should find a class that fits into my schedule better.
• Hot baths and saunas. I need to take more hot baths. I've only done one sauna since the Bear was born. I need to figure out how to indulge in the sauna more often.
• People still make comments how I look. In fact someone asked me if I was expecting the other day. I just told them I was fat. Geez.
•  Cheese is why I probably still look pregnant. 

P.S. I'm NOT pregnant