Scared of and in Awe of Babies

This is at Heather's going away bash (she moved to NYC!) and I forgot how far along I am here...probably 20 something weeks...or late teens. Suganya is a month ahead of me and my belly is the same size if not bigger. I'm like the Jolly Green Giant compared to her!!!

I went to see my new friend, Suganya and her husband Bobby and their new little girl, Kavi. I met Suganya through our mutual friend Heather (a fantastic photographer and writer). Heather is Kavi's Godmama. Suganya was also a patient at the birth center. So we have a lot in common when it comes to our ideals in birthing babies. When I met Kavi last week she was 3 1/2 weeks old and 7 lbs and 8 oz. Super tiny. (Suganya is super little herself!) When I first got to their house I told Suganya and Bobby that I was scared of babies. So I didn't hold her right away. We just talked about her birth and caring for a tiny human. They gave me a lot of advice. They also gave me a bag of goods: Evening Primrose Oil (to prevent post dates), Brewers Yeast and Fenugreek tablets (to help with milk supply) and some funny things from the hospital (they ended up at the hospital so that they could be induced, they were worried about Kavi's size for how far along she was,  so they wanted to get her out sooner rather than later. She was born at 6 lbs 3 oz.) The hospital supplied her with mesh underwear that absorbs blood, so, like, Depends, just sexier. And perineal ice packs to help with pain and swelling in your perineum and you can put these in your mesh panties! So she passed the ones she didn't use on to me. I can't wait to model them. There were some other things too but I can't recall what they are at the moment.

The highlight of the visit was Kavi. Suganya finally encouraged me to hold her. So I took her, nervously. I've never held a baby this young and little before. My belly got in the way a bit but I managed and she seemed fussy at first but then settled in. (I think she could smell my milk!) She has the perfect replica of her Daddy's nose but 20 times smaller. Her hair is like her Mamas - black, with a slight wave and SUPER SOFT. Her skin is like silk. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her movements reminded me of what Thunder Bear's movements are like in the womb - these uncoordinated flops of arms and long stretches of legs and curls of toes and little zombie hands. Her size at about 7.5 lbs is what the boy could be at birth, so I was imagining that sized baby coming out of the birth canal. Her head seemed small and didn't frighten me, ha! I'm glad Suganya encouraged me to hold her as I feel less afraid and more in awe of little babies now. I was so smitten with Kavi and she's not even my baby! Imagine the love I'll have for the wee boy. Oh, I can't wait to meet him!

Unfortunately we didn't take any pictures. But I'm sure I'll get some when Kavi and Baby Boy meet for the first time!